Though Not Yet Spoken
by ResilientWriterGirl
Summary: Started out as a quick Tuckson fic post Manhattan Transfer and has grown into Tuckson on the regular. How does the couple deal with life, work, and family while leaning on each other for support? Read & Review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own the characters that I am playing with.**

"Fuck." That was the only word on Olivia Benson's mind anymore. Whether it was what she wanted to do, or she felt it was the only term that adequately described her situation, it still remained the only word left in her mind's vocabulary.

Hearing a gentle knock on the door, Liv jumped. She almost knocked over the full glass of wine that she had sat down to enjoy almost an hour ago. Apparently she had a lot on her mind, more than she had originally thought, seeing as she hadn't even touched it. After leaving the couch and checking through the peephole, she opened the door, letting Ed Tucker follow her inside.

"Hey," he grumbled quietly, knowing full well that it was past midnight and Noah was asleep. "Liv I—I'm so sorry. I never wanted our relationship to complicate our jobs, especially not yours and…"

"Ed. Shut the hell up and kiss me." Seeing the look he shot her, a mix of question and concern, and, yes, lust, she silenced him with a gentle peck on the lips. Pulling back and looking into his gorgeous blue eyes she began again, "I'm not fine. I'm not really okay. But right now, I just… I need this." She gestured between the two of them. "I need us. I need you. Help me forget that today happened because if you don't, I'm gonna lose it," she choked out, tears brimming on her lashes, but not quite falling.

Seeing her in such distress, Tucker grabbed her into a warm hug and kissed the top of her head. "Let's go to bed, Olivia. We can worry about everything else later. Right now let me help you forget." With that, their hands clasped together and they made their way to Liv's bedroom.

Before either of them knew what was happening, they were kissing fiercely and beginning to shed their clothes. Ed's hands had just reached around to unclasp her lacy black bra when Noah started crying.

"Dammit," gasped Liv, and in that moment, she couldn't stop the tears. She was crying for the interruption, crying because she felt guilty for being upset that Noah was crying, crying for the loss of her job in Special Victims, crying for who she has become. And once she started, she couldn't stop. The floodgates had opened and Olivia had no idea how to make it stop. Though he wanted to comfort her and, more than anything in the world, to take away her pain, Ed kissed her head and guided her to sit down on the edge of the bed. Picking up his shirt that had been so haphazardly discarded onto the floor, and pulling it over his head, he quietly left to check on Noah. The little boy stopped crying when Ed walked into his room, and outstretched his arms so he could be held.

"I, I had a bad dream," he whimpered. Immediately Ed picked up Noah and the little boy wrapped his arms around him and buried his head into Ed's neck. Ed looked around the room for Noah's blanket, the one he couldn't sleep without, and silently picked it up and wrapped it around the boy's shoulders.

"Shhh. It's okay Noah. It wasn't real. Everything's okay, buddy. You can go back to sleep and you'll only have good dreams now." Tucker rubbed the boy's back gently until he calmed enough to fall back asleep. When he heard the boy's breathing slow and steady out, he carefully laid him back on his bed, tucking him in. He made sure the night-light was on, and left as quietly as he could to go take care of the other Benson needing his attention.

Removing his shirt once more, Ed carefully slid into bed with Olivia, his back leaning against the headboard, immediately wrapping his arms around her. Much like Noah had done a few minutes before, Liv pulled herself up and buried her head into his neck and cried some more. Though not the aggressive and loud tears that she cried as he went to check on her son, her silent tears were enough to rip his heart out of his chest.

"Hey. Look at me, Liv," he pulled back. Since she had yet to move, he tried again. "Olivia, look at me." When her brown eyes, still full of tears, finally looked up at him, he couldn't help but take a deep breath. She was so beautiful. Even then, even crying, Olivia Benson was the most breathtaking person he'd ever laid eyes on.

He softly began again, "Liv. It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. And we will be okay. It's just gonna take some time. But I will be here for you every step of the way, and I'm not about to let you go." Her eyes searched his, but found only truth among the depths of blue. She leaned forward and kissed him gently, knowing they wouldn't be seeking comfort in each other's bodies tonight. No, instead he would hold her and she would cling to him because that's what she needed in that moment.

"Come on. Let's go to sleep, Liv," he said as he carefully dragged them down against the pillows. "In the morning, we'll wake up and I'll make us all breakfast, and maybe we'll take Noah to the park. Right now we just need to get some sleep."

She smiled softly at his plan for the next day as she closed her eyes, legs intertwining with his as she laid her head on his chest. God, he smelled good. Ed traced small circles across her back until her breathing evened out. Once he was confident she had fallen asleep, he closed his eyes was able to drift off as well.

* * *

Olivia woke up to the sound of Noah's giggling in the kitchen; god, she loved that sound. Immediately, a smile graced her lips and she got out of bed. Stretching, she pulled on a pair of Ed's sweatpants that were tossed across the chair in the corner of her room. She found her NYPD t-shirt folded neatly on top of her dresser—no doubt Ed's doing—and hastily pulled that on as well.

Making her way into the kitchen, she stopped to kiss the top of Noah's head and then pulled Ed into a warm embrace.

"Morning," he said gently, as if he was trying to gauge her emotional state after the events that had transpired the day before. She looked up at him, kissing him briefly, and then walked over to get some coffee.

"Ed, I'm fine." Though her back was turned to him, she knew exactly what look he was giving her. "Okay, so maybe I'm not, but you can't treat me like I'm about to break into pieces. I'm a lot tougher than I look, you know. Sometimes you just have to be a little flexible with life," she exclaimed, moving back to her place next to him.

"Oh trust me, I know hon," he casually replied, not even bothering to hide the small, flirtatious smirk. "You, Olivia Benson, are quite flexible." Though she rolled her eyes and a smile played upon her lips he continued, "I just care about you, ya know? I want to make sure you are okay because I know this is the farthest thing from easy for you."

"I know… and I appreciate it, I do. I just… I don't want you to see me as this weak person who falls apart so easily. God, I can't believe I lost it like that last night."

"Olivia. Stop it. I could never see you as weak. You are the strongest person I have ever met. Everybody falls apart a little sometimes. You needed to cry last night, so don't think you are weak for doing so. Trust me. It's okay to show me what you are really feeling." Looking into his eyes, Liv could see how much he meant what he was saying. His arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close. She felt like home to him, and god, if that didn't both thrill and scare the living hell out of him.

* * *

"Ohmygod Ed," Liv gasped as she let out a little laugh. "That was… holy shit." A small, satisfied grin appeared on her face, and Ed couldn't help but mirror her look. Holding him close, she gently ran her hands up and down his arm feeling the chiseled muscles. The man's body looked amazing in those suits he wears to work, but damn, it's even better out of them.

"God Liv. You're incredible," he replied as he leaned in for a brief kiss. "Honestly though, you're going to have to learn to be quieter if we don't want to wake Noah," he smirked as she looked at him incredulously.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, you heard me. As I'm quite positive the neighbors heard you. You're really lucky Noah isn't a light sleeper when he's exhausted." Liv blushed automatically.

Seeing the look he was giving her all she could ask was, "What? Why are you giving me that look?"

"Nothing Liv. You're just so damn cute when you blush. Actually, you're kinda sexy all the time." She couldn't help but blush more at his compliments; she'd never really been the type to easily accept them.

Ed pulled Olivia closer to him and kissed her forehead.

"Hey, what's wrong Ed? You've been acting strange all day. Tell me what's on your mind," she said, gently caressing his cheek.

"Liv, you do know that I care about you right?"

She narrowed her eyes in response, "Of course. Tucker, you're starting to scare me here. What is it?" He looked a little pale and she was seriously worried at where the conversation was headed. Though she had no idea what to expect, she know Ed Tucker did not shy away from anything easily, so whatever it was had to be a big deal. She sat up, though remained in bed, and turned her body so they could face each other.

"Olivia, I had nothing to do with this whole situation at work. I would never be involved or cover up something like that. Never." He looked into her piercing brown eyes for fortification of what was coming next. "But if nobody gets to the bottom of this shitstorm, I need you to know that I want you to let me go." Holding up his hand to silence her, "No, Liv. Before you say anything, let me get this out. You are meant to be head of Special Victims. It is your life. Well, that and Noah. But it's where you belong. I could never and would NEVER want to take that away from you. So if this doesn't shake out the way we want it to… the way we need it to, then I need you to promise me you will walk away from this and get your life back," he choked out.

She couldn't keep the tears at bay as she carefully formulated her response. "Edward Tucker, you stubborn ass, there is no way I can promise you that. You forgot one very important point in your little speech there. You. You are part of my life, Ed and you can't just ask me to let you go. Not when I—" she paused briefly, a little shocked at what she almost just said, "Not when I care about you so much. I know we can't really rely on anyone to get to the truth right now, but we will figure it out. You and me, Ed. We're gonna fix this because I know we both want our lives back. And you better believe that the two of us, stubborn as hell cops are going to figure this out."

Ed couldn't really keep the tears away either, especially when considering being without Olivia. "I prefer the term 'dedicated' though I suppose stubborn works too," he laughs. "And don't you for a second think I don't feel the exact same way about you, Benson." Looking deeply into her eyes, he saw her recognize exactly what he meant by that.

He leaned down and captured her mouth in a sweet kiss. As soon as he started to pull away, Liv deepened the kiss, grabbing at the back of his neck. Threading one hand through her hair, Ed used the other to bring her closer. She straddled him, moaning into his mouth, as the kiss grew even more heated.

"Shit Liv. You. Are. So. Amazing," he gasped, in between kisses. "Mmmm. You taste like bourbon."

Olivia pulled back and laughed a little as she explained, "Well maybe I taste like that because someone was adamant that I try the damn bourbon that first night. Now I know I actually like some of it; you ruined me." He smiled against her neck as he continued to kiss, lick, and suck his way from the spot just behind her ear down to her breasts. When he reached her left breast he swirled his tongue around her nipple and sucked on it, while pulling her other breast into his hand. He couldn't get enough of her. Hearing her moan, he released her nipple with a "pop" sound, and switched over to the right nipple.

"Ed," she gasped breathlessly as he continued to work her over. She couldn't help but arch her back and push her breasts further into him, while she began to grind her hips over his. "Oh my god, Ed. Yessssss!"

Not being able to take anymore, Ed quickly grabbed her hips and flipped them over, so he staring down into her surprised eyes. He reached down between them and felt just how wet and ready she was. She was dripping for him. After bending down and kissing her, he asked, "You ready baby?"

Liv moaned in response and ran her hand over the tip of his hardness. He sucked in his breath quickly as spread her legs a little farther apart so he could push in. Feeling Ed fill her up, Liv ginned in satisfaction. He began moving in slow, deep strokes that were the complete opposite from earlier that night. Before, he had fucked her hard, and though they both enjoyed every moment of it, this was better. This wasn't just about physically satisfying one another; this was the culmination of every feeling—every emotion—that remained partially unspoken between them. This was about love.

Hitting into her at just the right angle, Ed found her g-spot and Liv came undone quickly. "Oh my god, Ed, don't stop. Don't stop baby. Yes!" she whimpered loudly, not bothering to worry about waking the neighbors or anyone else for that matter. She reached up and grasped the back of Ed's head, dragging his lips to hers. Her tongue danced around his until she arched up and cried out, reaching her climax.

"Yes baby. Come for me, Liv," he whispered into her ear. Ed felt her clench around his dick and pulled out almost all the way before slamming back into her. After a few more deep thrusts, he spilled into her and held on to her, and lovingly kissed her shoulder as she rode out her orgasm.

After pulling out of her, he quickly pulled Olivia into his arms. They wrapped around her lower back and she reached up to gently stroke his cheek as she kissed him languidly. Burying her head into him, she tried to catch her breath. She felt at home feeling the rise and fall of Ed's chest and listening to his heartbeat.

In that moment she was as happy as she's ever been. Though she knew clearing his name and getting them both reinstated at work was not going to be easy, she had full confidence that they would get through it. No matter what, Ed was part of her home now. Despite the fact that it scared her, she knew she loved him. Words still unspoken, the pair looked into each other's eyes and knew the depths of their feelings. The word "fuck" was now replaced by the word "love" in her mind's vocabulary, and though they still had a lot to overcome, love would certainly help get them there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own the characters that I am playing with.**

 **Sorry it took so long to update! I'm still not completely satisfied with this, but for now, it'll have to do. The first part is smut so skip ahead if you aren't into that. Reviews are always appreciated! Enjoy! (:**

"Mmmm, Liv," Ed moaned in between kisses. "Let's get out of here." Naturally he emphasized that with another kiss, albeit a lot more chaste than the ones before. They were celebrating because the mess with the dirty cops and the Catholic Church had finally been resolved, leaving them reinstated into their respected positions. It hadn't been an easy road, but thankfully, they were about to get back into their normal routine.

Ed let Olivia lead him out of the bar and he hailed a taxi. She couldn't keep her hands to herself on the quick ride to her apartment, but Ed made sure to keep it at PG13 for the cabbie, and because they're both members of the NYPD. The last thing they needed was some idiot discussing the public sex life of two police officers. Though they had admittedly engaged in some pretty risqué behavior in not so private places before, he was not anxious to get caught in the act, especially in light of recent events.

After finally making it back to Liv's apartment, he practically had to drag her behind him. Ed Tucker was not a very patient man when he was so worked up. And damn, Olivia Benson knew how to work him up. All she had to do was smile and he was instantly horny, so after putting up with her constant touches and that damn sexy smirk all night he was beyond ready to go.

As soon as they walked into the apartment, Liv's back was pressed firmly against the closed door. Tucker moved his hands, one grabbing her waist and the other on the back of her neck, dragging her mouth to meet his in a hungry kiss. Not one to remain idle, Olivia sought out Ed's muscular chest, breaking their fiery kiss only to remove his shirt. They were desperate and in need of each other. Dragging off their remaining clothes, both were briefly reminded to thank Amanda for taking Noah that night. There was no way this would be happening, as it was, if Noah were home.

"Oh God Ed," Liv gasped, as his lips dragged down from her neck to her collarbone. Nibbling here and there, moans filled the apartment. As much as Ed wanted to fuck her up against the door, he knew Liv didn't do well with feeling trapped, so he started moving them through the apartment toward the bedroom. Liv stopped in the kitchen and hoisted herself up on the counter. Ideally, they would've made it to her bed, but neither one of them could wait that long. They'd waited long enough for this tonight.

Ed leaned down against her mouth, kissing her thoroughly. As soon as they pulled apart to catch their breath, he was kissing up the inside of her thighs. Olivia moaned and whimpered as he placed small kisses everywhere except where she wanted him most. She was wet and ready for him, and as soon as he placed his lips at her center, she arched her back.

"Ohmygod," she gasped, feeling him lick up and down her slit. Ed's hands buried deep into her thighs to keep her still as he continued his skillful journey to her pleasure. Not being able to sit passively while Ed's tongue was circling her clit, Liv's hands drifted to his head and grasped at his closely cropped hair. Feeling her attempt at control just fueled him on, and he knew she wanted more.

She barely whimpered, "Please," before Ed had his fingers inside her. She started bucking against his hand and mouth, unable to suppress the moans and soft whimpers as she came.

Watching Liv come undone was the hottest thing Ed Tucker had ever seen. Knowing that he could reduce her to such noises only egged on his ego and made him impossibly harder. She looked down at him, and surprise, he was smirking at her.

"You know, I'm surprised that your ego can get any bigger." She squeaked, still a little breathless from the amazing orgasm that Mr. Talented Tongue had so kindly gifted her.

"Yeah, well, I didn't hear you complaining before." Ed chuckled lightly. "Besides, that's definitely not the only thing that's gotten bigger, babe."

Following his eyes downward, she unconsciously swallowed while thinking about all the fun she wanted to have with him tonight. Her cheeks flushed a brighter shade of red and he helped her off the counter. Liv gently kissed Ed on the lips, and tasted herself on him as his tongue met hers.

"Come on. Maybe we can find a way to help with that problem you have there," she giggled. Reaching out to take his hand, Olivia led them to her bedroom. As she lay back on the mattress, her head against the pillows, she pulled Tucker into her embrace. Reaching between them, she gently rubbed the tip of his cock and felt the pre-cum spill out. He grunted and immediately devoured her mouth with his.

His mouth moved to gently suck, bite, and kiss her neck. He couldn't get enough of her. Damn, she smelled so good. He pushed into her and failed to suppress his own moan and she adjusted to his size. Liv wrapped her legs around his waist feeling him pound deeper into her.

"Ugh, yes! Right there," she muttered. She could never get enough of the feeling of Ed inside her. He knew exactly how to manipulate their bodies into sheer ecstasy. Her nails dug into his biceps as she held on for dear life.

"Babe you feel so good." Ed gently stroked her nipples and then bent down to take one into his mouth. Knowing exactly how sensitive her breasts were, he enjoyed every moment of Liv squirming in pleasure. She managed to tug him up and ensnare his mouth hungrily right as she flipped them over.

Her hands found his and she pulled them above his head. Now riding him, she set a leisurely pace. Her hips ground around him and she saw his lust and need to cum building. Deciding it was time to speed things up, Ed found his opportunity as soon as she moved her hands to his chest. While she admired his chiseled physique, he grabbed onto her hips and pushed up into her hard.

"Oh yes. Ed," she breathed. He watched her face contort in pleasure as her eyes slipped closed. He was pistoning into her right against her g-spot, and he knew exactly what he was doing with her body. When he knew he wouldn't last much longer, Tucker reached in between them and flicked his finger across her still sensitive clit.

"ED YESSSS!" she shouted right as he was moaning, "Ohmygod Liv," and they came together. Collapsing on his chest, Liv tried to catch her breath. When she regained some semblance of feeling in her trembling legs again, she slowly detached their bodies and she made her way into the bathroom.

"Damn you are good at that, Tucker," she smiled as she disappeared behind the closed door.

* * *

"God, it's been a long day. I'm so glad we're back. Oh, and the celebrating was nice too," she smirked at Ed. Now, lying in her bed after they cleaned up, Ed had one arm tucked around Olivia's waist, holding her close. He kissed the top of her head and tried not to dwell on the recent events that had plagued them. Looking up at him, Liv could see that something was on Ed's mind.

"Hey, what's wrong? I thought we had a good night," she said, concerned, searching his gorgeous blue eyes for answers.

"Nothing. Let's call it a night, yeah? I'm exhausted." Turning to his side and pulling her close, Ed tried to fall asleep. His mind had been wandering ever since she ordered that refill at the bar. He'd been with Olivia for a while and he knew all about her childhood and her mother. It scared him to think that Liv would fall into the same habits and addictions that had stolen the joy from her formative years. Olivia Benson was a strong woman, a strong person. She was stronger than anyone he'd ever met… but that didn't mean she didn't have her fair share of demons. God, he just really hoped and prayed that being an alcoholic wasn't one of them.

Tucked into Ed's grasp, she could tell something was clearly _still_ bothering him. Deep down, she knew it was that she ordered another glass of wine tonight. He shouldn't be worried about that, though; after all, she was just celebrating their reinstatements in their respected NYPD units. She wasn't an alcoholic. She could stop whenever she wanted. She'd just had a lot going on lately and the wine, sometimes bourbon, helped her relax.

Meanwhile, Ed was holding onto Olivia for dear life. He loved her—god, how he really loved her. He hadn't felt this way in such a long time. It wasn't just her that he loved though…it was everything. He loved Noah and waking up with Liv, making breakfast, and going to the park together. He loved being around them. They were quickly becoming his family, a thought that equally thrilled and terrified him.

Maybe this is why he hadn't explored his feelings for anyone for so long; he couldn't stand even the idea of being so in love and losing her. Even if her drinking wasn't a problem—and he was becoming more and more sure that it was—he knew that it was always a possibility that he would screw up and end up back where he was years ago: on the outs with Olivia Benson. That was the least fun place to be. Sure, a part of Ed Tucker enjoyed ruffling the feathers of SVU, but nothing compared to being on good terms with Liv. If he had to pick anyone to be on his side for anything, it's her he would choose. She was so loyal, generous, loving, kind, and good. As cliché as it sounded, she was his light in the midst of all the darkness surrounding them in their line of work.

"Ed," she half whispered. "I know you're too worked up to go to sleep right now." Liv turned over so she could look at him. "I can feel you thinking. What do you want me to say here? I don't have a drinking problem. I know how that sounds and I know you're worried," she explained, "but I don't have to drink. I thought we were celebrating and enjoying our adults-only, Noah-free night." She risked a look up at his conflicted blue eyes and saw so much: confusion, love, and trepidation to name a few.

Tucker didn't really want to have this conversation right now. They'd managed to have a pretty good night… okay the sex was fanfuckingtastic… and he didn't want to say anything to ruin that. When he saw her beautiful brown eyes looking up at him, though, he knew they needed this talk right now.

He started cautiously, "Liv… I had a great night with you. Every day with you is more than I deserve…" he trailed off. Deciding it was better to just be straight with her, he took a deep breath and began again. "Okay, after Lewis"—her eyes went wide and she looked down, away from Ed—"I heard what you went through. Obviously you know what I know because I heard your statement, but Liv… he force-fed you drinks and pills for days—"

"Ed," she immediately cut him off, "I got help after Lewis. I went to Lindstrom and I did the work. I'm okay. I promise. I didn't have a drinking problem then and I don't now."

"Olivia, stop. Just… just listen to me for minute. Please, just consider what I'm saying here." Tucker rubbed his hand across his jaw trying to discern exactly how to explain. "I know you went to see Lindstrom. I'm just concerned. After Utley, you started drinking more." He held his hand up as soon as she opened her mouth. "No, Liv, you did. I can't lie to you and pretend it doesn't worry me. We both know how easy it is to seek comfort in anything that can distract us from the shitty situations. I just don't want that for you. I'll do anything you need me to, but please don't lie to me Liv."

Olivia silently untucked herself from his grasp, and began pulling on some clothes. Ed reached out and gently touched her shoulder but she shrugged him off.

"I need a minute."

Eventually she sat back down on the other end of her bed. Risking a glance at Ed, she tried to keep the tears at bay. "He… um, Joe Utley. He raped that girl and I couldn't save her. I couldn't stop it from happening. It brought back so much with Lewis and I can't stop remembering everything. I just want to stop remembering," she whispered.

Ed moved to her and gently cupped her cheeks in his hands. "Olivia, it wasn't your fault. You know that. They would've shot you and those kids. It was not your fault. And I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that. Lewis. Utley. All of them. God, I wish I could help you forget it all. You are so strong and you don't even know it, Liv." Tucker just held onto her as she silently cried for a few minutes.

"Ed, I really don't have a problem, but if it makes you feel better, I'll talk to Lindstrom about it. And we don't need to go out as much. Are we okay?" she was almost afraid to ask.

"Of course we are, Liv. And that sounds like a good plan. Thank you for listening; I know it's not easy for you to keep your mouth shut for very long," he said with a small smirk, trying to bring back a lighthearted mood.

She smiled a little, which he counted as a great victory considering the circumstances. "Yeah, it's about as easy for me to keep my mouth shut as it is for you to admit that someone else is right," she smirked back at him. He dropped his jaw and gestured in mock offense, but laughed at her statement.

"Come on. Let's go to sleep. It's been a long day and after earlier, I think we need the rest." They moved and Ed pulled back the blankets for her to slide under. Reclaiming her place tucked against him, Olivia placed a chaste kiss on his chest. One of his hands stroked her hair until he fell asleep. She sighed against him and closed her eyes, silently praying that she was right. She didn't really have a problem, did she? Serena had a problem. She acted nothing like her mother did, so she must be fine. Either way, she was too tired to fight off the sleep that she so desperately needed.

* * *

Ed groaned and rolled over, feeling for Liv but finding empty sheets instead. He opened his eyes and glimpsed at the alarm clock next to the bed. His eyes almost bugged out of his head when he realized he couldn't remember the last time he slept past 6:45am, and here it was, 9:52.

"Hey Liv?" Tucker yelled to get her attention. When he was only met with silence, he figured she must have gone out. Deciding to pull on a pair of sweatpants, he entered the kitchen to get some coffee.

"What a wonderful woman," he thought when he found fresh coffee made. A note was left on the counter where they'd begun last night's festivities and he couldn't hide the small smile and blush, even though she wasn't there to see it. He looked down at her handwriting and read:

Hey sleepyhead,

Enjoy the coffee and take a shower. I went to get Noah from Amanda's.

Park later? Noah has been begging me to go swing. If you need clothes,

you have some in the bottom drawer of my dresser. I threw last night's in

the washer when I cleaned up this morning. See you soon!

xo Liv

He smiled at her thoughtfulness, not that he would expect anything else from her. A shower sounded nice, so he finished his coffee and made his way into the bathroom. He couldn't wait for Liv and Noah to get home.

* * *

"Hey buddy," Tucker grinned. Noah reached for Ed to pick him up. Holding him close, Ed grazed Liv's lower back gently, just enough for her to stop picking up after Noah, and turn to him.

"Thanks for the coffee and cleaning up this morning." He lightly pecked her lips as she smiled sweetly. "But for the record, I'm never going to look at the counter the same again," he pressed.

A blush crept up on Liv, and she winked at him. "Hey Noah, you ready to go to the park?" she asked, looking at her favorite little man.

"Swings Momma!" His face lit up. The two adults chuckled lightly as they finished up preparing to go out for a bit.

It took about thirty minutes, but eventually they made it to the park. As predicted, Noah was most excited about getting to swing. Surprisingly though, he was feeling a little moody today. It had only been fifteen minutes at the park and the small boy was whining about his mom's swing pushing abilities.

"What's wrong, Noah? I thought you wanted to swing," Liv asked her sweet boy.

"I want Tucker to push me," Noah pouted. Trying to hide his joy for the sake of Liv's feelings of rejection, he looked at the two of them. Olivia could read him like a book by now, and switched places with Ed, giving him a small smile. He beamed.

"Alright Noah. I'll push you. How high do you think we can go without momma getting upset?" he whispered loudly to Noah. The small boy giggled when he looked at his mom.

"Sheesh. It's like you boys don't want any ice cream later!" she half-heartedly threatened, trying to keep the smile off her face. Looking at her two guys made her heart soar. She loved them both so much, though she and Ed still haven't officially said those words to each other. They both knew how they felt and that was the most important thing.

Ed and Noah's faces made her smile despite herself. Noah, because he was slightly outraged that his mom would say such a horrible thing. He really wanted ice cream! On the other hand, Ed was watching Noah with a happy smile on his face, and Liv couldn't tear her eyes away from the beautiful sight.

* * *

After a full day of fun and sun at the park, plus some movies and dinner at home, Liv tucked Noah into his bed. He'd stayed up a little past his bedtime today because of the ice cream after the park, but it was well worth it for the day they had together. When they watched "Inside Out" with Noah, he climbed up and sat in Ed's lap, immediately snuggling into him.

"Goodnight my sweet boy. I love you Noah," she said softly.

"Night night momma," he replied as he closed his eyes. He really was exhausted.

Olivia made her way into her own bedroom and got ready for bed. She was tired too. Finally collapsing onto her mattress, she had a brief moment of sadness wash over her because she was alone. Tucker had gone to his own apartment that night, needing to do laundry and prepare for work since he was back in. Her phone vibrated and her face lit up when she saw it was a text from Ed.

Ed: Hey hon. I just wanted to say I had a great day with you and Noah. Wish I was there with you tonight. I'd keep you warm.

The flirty side of Ed Tucker never ceased to shock and surprise her. It was hard enough in the beginning to even admit that she had actual feelings for him, other than disgust, but eventually she realized how fun he was outside of work. He's a lot happier and kinder than people generally give him credit for; not that being IAB really gives cops a great impression to begin with.

Liv: Don't tease me, Ed Tucker. I wish you were here too. And today was fantastic! Noah might be giving me a run for my money when it comes to your attention.

Ed: It doesn't bother you, does it? I can back off Liv. I know you need your Noah time.

Liv: No no no. I love seeing the two of you together. It just caught me off guard a little. Nothing compares to spending the day with my two favorite guys.

Ed: Good. I love it too. Lunch tomorrow?

Liv: Definitely. See you then! Goodnight Tucker xo

Ed: Can't wait. Goodnight Benson xo

She set her alarm for the early morning, both excited and nervous to go back to SVU. She wasn't entirely thrilled with the idea of her whole squad knowing about her personal life, not because she didn't love Ed, but she was just a private person. Hell, she hadn't even contemplated telling the squad about her and Brian when Munch and Nick saw her in nothing but Bri's shirt at his place. With Ed, she was nervous about their reactions, most notably Fin. Out of everyone, Fin had been with her longest. He knew about her extreme dislike for Tucker for years. He witnessed her arrest and everything else…but she also knew that Fin loved her like a sister. He would want to see her happy. And she was. She was so happy with Ed, oddly enough. Liv just really hoped Fin and the rest of her squad would see that too.

 **So there you have it. I'm really glad that Tucker nodded to Liv's drinking in 17x19 and can't wait to see how the writers continue to address it! This hiatus is not so fun, though, so hopefully the muse will inspire some more fic. Review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own the characters that I am playing with. I obviously own characters you don't recognize.**

 **This is the result of my entirely too sleep deprived brain during finals week (aka this week) so bear with me.**

"No momma. I want Ed," Noah pouted as Liv tried to tuck in her grumpy little man.

"Noah, baby, Ed is busy right now and he can't tuck you in. Can momma please do it?" She was trying not to be frustrated with him, but damn if it didn't break her heart a little. Though they'd been spending a lot of time together, Ed and Noah still didn't see each other for a majority of the week, yet here Noah was getting very attached. She'd be lying if she said it didn't scare her. Right as Noah started to shake his head "no" Tucker walked into the room.

"Hey there bud. You giving your mom a hard time?" Noah sheepishly looked away from the two adults and Ed snuck a glance in Liv's direction. He could see the frustration and heartbreak written on her face and he wasn't exactly sure how to fix it. "Alright buddy, why don't you let me and mommy tuck you in now." Noah finally relented; having his Ed there to help was better than nothing, he supposed.

Ed pulled up the blankets around Noah as Liv reached to switch on the night-light. She bent down and gently kissed his forehead as he snuggled into his bed.

"Goodnight," the two adults said softly. They knew full well that Noah's little outburst was in part to delay bedtime even further, though he was already exhausted. Liv's hushed voice whispered out a "Love you sweet boy" before gently closing the door.

Tucker reached for her hand and she allowed him to lead them to the couch. They were quiet for a while, both lost in their own thoughts while barely watching the black and white movie that was on TV. She was curled into his side as he played with her hair absentmindedly.

"Hey. I meant to ask, is everything alright?" Liv questioned, looking up at him. Ed cocked his head just a bit in confusion and she continued. "You were on the phone for a while earlier. I was starting to wonder if it was work."

"Oh, that. Uh, no, actually. Not work. I wasn't exactly sure how to bring this up." Suddenly intrigued, Liv sat up, unpeeling herself from his side. She shifted on the couch so she could face him.

After she gave him a pressing look as if to say "go on," he began again. "That was Natalie on the phone. She's moving to New York for the summer. Apparently she got an internship here and decided to move away from L.A. for now." Ed's face beamed with pride.

"Ed that's amazing! Where is she living? When does she get here?"

His smile dropped a bit as he looked up at Liv apprehensively. "Well that's the thing. I guess one of her roommates from UCLA was supposed to move too and they were going to get an apartment together, but her friend backed out… and now she was wondering if she could move in with me."

"You said yes, right? Ed Tucker if you did not say yes to your daughter moving in with you for now—"

"Liv," he held up his hand to stop her. "Of course I said yes. But this is gonna change things for us. I would really like to introduce you to her…"

She leaned in a gently kissed him. "I'd love to meet her, hon. Okay, so when will she be here?"

"In a week. She's driving here apparently. I tried to talk her out of it, even offered to buy her a plane ticket, but she wouldn't budge. Said she can't fly because that means she won't have all her stuff with her." Liv chuckled lightly at his interpretation of events, fully knowing that he had no idea what was about to hit him. "Why do I feel like my apartment is about to be taken over by an abundance of things that the girl doesn't even need?" he groaned.

"Because it is. And you're going to love every second of it because it means you get to make up for lost time with your daughter. What was she, fourteen, fifteen when they moved after Ally and Steven got married? I know she lived with you for part of the summer and visited sometimes, but still. You missed out. Now you get to make up for some of that." Liv snuggled back into Ed's side as he wrapped his arms around her. "Oh, and what was with the apprehension?"

"I just didn't know if you would want to meet Natalie yet; I wasn't sure if you were ready. Plus..." he smirked, "You know this means we can't just go to my place before coming here while Lucy watches Noah." Liv laughed wholeheartedly.

"You know what that means. We'll just have to get a little more creative, babe." They were both smiling at the thought and settled into a content silence, just happy to be in each other's arms.

"So, you ready to talk about Noah now?" he asked quietly, as if seeking permission to broach the topic. She mumbled a reply, her face buried in his chest. "Come on, Liv."

Lifting her head to his shoulder, she struggled to find the right words to say. She didn't want to hurt Ed by saying the wrong thing but she also wanted to be honest with him.

"I'm happy that he likes you. It makes my heart so full to see the two of you together," she smiled softly. "I just… I'm scared that he is getting too attached. If something were to happen with us… I just don't want to hurt him too."

"Liv, it's okay. I get it. If you need me to back off and not spend so much time with him, I'll do that for you… but I have to say, I really hope that's not what you want. You guys mean the world to me and I love spending time here with both of you," he sighed, kissing the top of her head.

Looking up into his gorgeous blue eyes, she could see the worry and pain at the thought of not spending so much time with the two of them. He obviously loved Noah; he didn't have to tell her, she just knew.

"Hey. I don't want that. I'm just struggling to get used to the idea that I'm not his whole world anymore." She pouted lightly and Ed thought it was one of the cutest things he's ever seen her do. She yawned and it immediately dawned on her that she was absolutely drained.

He noticed, of course he noticed, and immediately stood up, gently dragging her down the hall to her bed.

* * *

 _Later that week…_

SVU hadn't been so deserted in a while. Rollins and Dodds were at Mercy General with a girl who looked like she'd been someone's personal punching bag for a while. She was sixteen and in the foster care system. Luckily, they had some solid leads, but it meant that the pair would be away from the 1-6 for the majority of the day. Carisi was in court with Barba once again. Liv had actually caught up on a majority of the paper work for once, and was starting to get a little restless when Fin knocked on her office door.

"Hey Fin. What's up?"

He sauntered into her office and sat down on the small couch. "You ever gon' tell me about how the hell you and Tucker got together or you just gon' leave me in the dark, girl?" Ah, Fin…Never one to sugarcoat it or beat around the bush. Liv blushed and rolled her eyes at one of her oldest friends.

"Fin," she started, unsure of what to say but fully aware that he had no intentions of letting this go. "I don't know, okay. We started meeting up for drinks to talk about the job and… one day it was about more than just the job." She couldn't hide the unintentional small smile as she thought about the early days. Between the bourbon, seeing Tucker in casual clothes, and realizing he actually had a sense of humor, she was lucky she held out for so long.

"Look, I ain't gon' pretend I understand why you have feelings for IAB's Tucker, but it's obvious you're happy." She gave an appreciative nod. "How's he with Noah?"

"Oh Fin, Noah loves him. And Ed loves Noah." She didn't miss the way his face scrunched up when she called him "Ed" instead of "Tucker" but she continued anyways. "They're great with each other. The other night Noah wouldn't let me tuck him in because he wanted 'Ed' to do it. Honestly, my son is a little traitor," she laughed. "So, any more questions in this interrogation or am I out of the hot seat?"

"Oh there's more. When did this even start? I mean come on Liv, I'm a detective and I gotta say I did not see this coming at all," he pressed.

She opened her mouth to speak but was saved when none other than Ed Tucker walked into her office.

"Speak of the devil," Fin muttered.

"Am I interrupting something here, Lieutenant?"

"Oh hey, I forgot we were meeting for lunch! No, Fin was just on his was out," she said pointedly. He couldn't help but notice the way her eyes lit up when she saw Tucker, so it must be going very well.

Fin stood up and walked over to the door, stopping when he neared Tucker. "Look, Liv is happy with you, but I don't care that you're IAB, you do something to hurt her, and I promise you'll regret it."

Fully suspecting something like this to be said whenever Fin found out for sure, Ed was prepared. "I would expect no less. I know we've had our differences, but I'm glad Liv has you and that you have her back."

Liv gave a light glare in their direction, touched that they found some common ground, but no less irritated that both men found the need to assert their protective streak over her. "I am a grown woman, you know. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

Both Fin and Tucker chuckled, saying things like "Yeah yeah" and "of course you are." On a surprising note, they shook hands as Fin went back to his desk to work on some paperwork, tedious as it may be.

Closing the door behind him, Ed looked at Olivia and smiled. "So that went a little better than I expected. How was being interrogated by him?" Sensing the surprise in her expression he continued, "I can only imagine based on the look on your face when I barged in."

"It went alright. I mean, I know Fin cares about me. He's like my brother, but I didn't really know how he would react to… this." She gestured between herself and Ed. "He's been here almost as long as I have and he's gone through the ups and downs, too." Pausing to let out a small chuckle. "Part of me is a little surprised that he didn't completely flip his shit. I guess it makes sense though. He just wants to see me happy."

"And are you happy Lieutenant?" he smirked, gently running his hand up her thigh.

"Very. You ready to dress up and play politics tonight?"

He groaned, "Never."

"Yeah, well that makes two of us."

* * *

After the long night at a function Chief Dodds had personally requested her to attend, it's no wonder Olivia had slept in. Well, that and the fact that Ed's noisy neighbors woke them up in the middle of the night. That didn't turn out to be such a bad thing, though, because Liv decided there was only one reasonable way to both calm them down and exhaust them from the irritation of being woken up in the first place. Apparently it worked wonders.

She found Ed's shirt on the floor next to the bed and pulled it on while looking for her panties. Finally finding those, she slipped them on and padded into his kitchen so she could start the coffee. Amanda had been gracious enough to have Noah over again so Liv and Ed could go play politics with the NYC elite. It was exhausting, but spending the night with Ed made up for it. She'd just started the coffee when she felt his arms reach around her.

"Holy shit!" she jumped, startled. "I didn't hear you get out of bed."

"Good morning to you too, Liv," Tucker grinned. She reached up to touch his bare chest as he pulled her in for a kiss. As soon as their lips met, both knew it wouldn't be simple or sweet. He parted her lips with his tongue, eagerly seeking entrance. Olivia moaned into his mouth as she wrapped one arm around his neck and the other on his lower back, drawing him as close to her as humanly possible. Deciding exactly where this was going, Ed lifted her up onto the counter and she automatically wrapped her legs around him. 'What is it with us and counters?' he wondered. They were so wrapped up in each other that neither heard the key turn the lock to the apartment.

"Surprise!"

Liv pulled back from Ed so fast that she knocked the back of her head on the cabinet and Ed jumped backwards, thinking he was going to have a heart attack.

"Nat? What are you doing here already; you weren't supposed to make it to New York until tonight?" Natalie quickly assessed the situation that she'd clearly just interrupted and blushed.

"Daddy, I'm gonna go put this stuff in my room and give you both a chance to get dressed," she smirked. By that point, Liv's head was covered by her hands in embarrassment and Ed had moved in front of her to try and shield her scantily clad body from his daughter. As Natalie moved across the apartment she turned to her father and continued, "Oh, and nice choice dad. She's hot."

Tucker quietly and apprehensively turned around to face Liv but was immediately stopped when she put her hand up.

"Not a word, Ed."

"Olivia—"

"Not. A. Word." She hopped off the counter and quickly went in search of proper attire for meeting her boyfriend's daughter, not that she would ever get the chance for a first impression back again. Ed followed behind, only to grab his grey NYPD shirt to throw on. At least he'd been wearing sweatpants when Natalie came in.

Leaving her to get dressed, he went to greet his daughter properly.

"Natalie I missed the hell out of you," he choked out, walking into her room.

"I missed you too, daddy. Thank you so much for letting me stay here with you! You're a lifesaver!" she hugged him tightly. Pulling back and pointing toward the kitchen she giggled, "So… surprise?" He couldn't help the blush that spread across his cheeks.

"You know, I'd say sorry about that but you weren't supposed to be here until tonight," he replied drily. He bent down and kissed her forehead before leaving the room. "I'm gonna go check on Liv. She's mortified."

Natalie, unabashed and blunt as she was, snorted. "Just make sure to warn me if I'm going to be in need of headphones during this 'checking on' her. You looked pretty hot and heavy when I walked in."

"Ohmygod," Ed muttered under his breath. Natalie most certainly was back. This would be interesting.

 **So I'm sorry that this chapter sort of jumped around a bit. I wanted all of that included, but didn't really want to separate it into different, short chapters. Honestly, I can see Tucker a being a dad with a grown child that didn't get to raise for a majority of her life. Natalie is something else, as you can probably already tell. How will Liv react to properly meeting Natalie after that incident? How will Ed handle sharing an apartment with his grown daughter? How much do Liv and Natalie know about each other? More on Natalie and all to come.**

 **Hopefully I will be able to update faster since I'm done with the semester after tomorrow! Reviews are always appreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own the characters that I am playing with, except for Natalie because she is my own.**

 **There's a little bit of Tuckson history in this chapter, so enjoy that. (:**

"Liv…" Ed peered into his bedroom trying to assess how upset his girlfriend was. He had to admit, he'd been pretty embarrassed too, but he at least had pants on. And Natalie was his daughter. He couldn't even imagine how Liv was feeling but he knew he'd have to do some talking to calm her down. Since she wasn't in his bedroom she had to be in the bathroom. Luckily for Liv, there was on just off his room so there was no chance of another unplanned Liv/Natalie encounter.

"Liv, hon. God, I don't really know what to say here to make you feel better," his voice trailed off.

She was brushing her teeth but she leaned back into his embrace anyways. Her face was still red from embarrassment, but at least she hadn't started crying. Lately everything seemed to make her cry, so this was a real feat. Motherhood did that to her. She may not have given birth to Noah and experienced the hormonal changes, but she definitely got softer with motherhood.

"It's not your fault," she exhaled. "Honestly, she just really caught me off guard. I had everything planned out. I bought a new outfit to wear and everything, and that outfit was most certainly not your shirt and my thong," she groaned. Ed tried and failed to suppress his small smile as her eyes met his in the mirror. Just as he started to wrap his arms around her waist she moved away.

"No no no, Tucker. I've already made a horrendous first impression with your daughter and we are not about to make her so much as think we are doing anything in here right now." She finished brushing her teeth as he moved behind her again. This time, he didn't give her any chance to react before he spun her around and captured her lips with his.

"Come on, Liv. You need to officially meet her already. This time with more clothes on," he smirked. He followed her back into his bedroom as she folded her clothes from the night before and then began making the bed. Catching on to what she was doing, he couldn't help but comment.

"Wow, so you really are avoiding this for as long as possible, huh?"

"Ed, I just… how much have you told her about me? What have you told her about me? Oh god, did you let her be completely blindsided by this whole thing? Ohmygod." She spoke rapidly, barely letting the thoughts pile up before they were spilling out of her mouth. Liv buried her head in her hands and tried not to panic, though from the looks of it, it wasn't working.

Tucker sat on the edge of the bed and reached for her to do the same. Sensing that she was embarrassed all over again, he decided to put her out of her mostly self-induced misery and explain.

"I told her about you. Well, I told her I was seeing someone and that it was serious. And then I told her how amazing you are," he paused, gazing into her deep brown eyes that he so easily got lost in. "And beautiful." Accentuating that with a kiss he continued, "And stubborn." Another kiss. "And how you're such an amazing mom to the world's best kid." Another kiss. He stopped then, chuckling lightly, "And then I told her about your job, because you are the best at what you do, babe. You're so passionate and good with the vics. You have the biggest heart and for some reason you're sharing part of it with me. So yes, I told her about you. I talk about you a lot."

"Wow. Who would've thought Ed Tucker was so much of a sharer?" she sniffled, trying to reign in her emotions. Reaching up to brush away a tear, she couldn't help but playfully shove him away. "Damn you; I was finally getting my emotions in check," she laughed. 'Okay,' she thought. 'Here we go. He's told you a little bit about her. You're ready. Time to go meet Tucker's daughter.'

* * *

 _"So how's the kid doing these days? Everything's official with his adoption, right?" Liv automatically smiled, really smiled. She met his eyes and he saw the pure joy radiating from her soul._

 _"Yes. Noah's great! Perfect really. Well, he has a stubborn streak but I suppose that's to be expected," she laughed._

 _"Oh yeah. Stubborn and challenging, but absolutely worth it." Tucker smiled right back at her. Liv's eyebrow perked up as she slightly cocked her head to the right, processing what Tucker had said._

 _"Do you have kids?"_

 _"Yes I do." He set down his glass of bourbon on the table. "A daughter. Natalie. She's twenty-one and goes to UCLA." She couldn't hide her surprise, nor did he expect anything less from the gorgeous woman sitting in front of him._

 _"Wow. I had no idea. UCLA? You must be proud of her."_

 _"I mean, I wanted her to go to school on this coast, but yeah. I am. She's a great kid. Stubborn, and blunt as hell, but she's great." His eyes lit up in a way that she'd never seen from him before. Of course, it's not like they'd spent a lot of time together like this, so she's not sure she ever really had a chance to._

 _They continued chatting and drinking for over an hour, just content in each other's company. While neither one would have ever expected this turn of events, they were both pleasantly surprised. He walked her out as they tried to snag a taxi. She turned to face him and smiled, exclaiming how fun the night had been._

 _After holding his intense gaze, she looked down and her hair fell across her face. Tucker couldn't help but reach out and tuck it behind her ear, not fully realizing that it was actually his hand moving. He almost felt as if he was watching it all play out from a distance, but before he knew it, he'd leaned in closer to her. Sensing what he was about to do, Liv snaked her arm around his waist as her lips met his for the first time. She always thought it would be rough and intense, like him, but the kiss was simple. It wasn't that she imagined it very often, or ever really until recently, but such an intense person at work must be intense in other areas too, right? His lips captured hers again, this time a little more commanding, but no less sweet than the first. Pulling back, he looked into her eyes and smiled when he saw her smiling right back at him. As her cab pulled up to the curb, she pulled him into a hug and thanked him once again for the great night. Kissing the top of her head, he held onto her for just one more second before pulling away._

 _"Goodnight Olivia. Text me when you're home safe?"_

 _She smiled, knowing he had a protective streak, and replied, "Sure. Goodnight Ed."_

 _Tucker walked the few blocks from the bar to his apartment unable to stop replaying that moment in his head. He kissed her. He, Ed Tucker kissed Olivia freaking Benson. Badass Benson. And damn, was it fantastic!_

 _He'd just walked into his apartment with a huge grin on his face when his phone chimed._

 _Liv: Home safe. Thanks again for tonight. I had a great time!_

 _Ed: Thank you for letting me know. Tonight was fantastic. I'm looking forward to doing it again sometime._

 _Liv: Friday work for you? Pending a case, I'm free._

 _Ed: Absolutely. Keep me posted and I'll keep Friday open. Goodnight Liv._

 _Liv: Will do. Goodnight Ed._

 _Liv couldn't wrap her head around it all. There she was, gazing down at her beautiful son after a date with Ed Tucker. Ed kissed her and she definitely kissed him back. And now she was making plans for another date? Insane. Everything had changed so much in such a short amount of time. Before she worked herself up into a panic, she decided to call it a night. Now was not the time to go examine every detail of her life. For now, she would just curl up in bed and think about that kiss._

* * *

The pair walked out of the bedroom and decided to wait for Natalie on the couch, watching whatever movie was on TV. Olivia was curled into Ed's side and though he loved being close to her, he knew she wasn't as close as they'd normally be for Natalie's sake. Well, that and for their own embarrassment about earlier. This was one of Ed's favorite things. He loved when Liv was snuggled up to him, so close that he could smell her sweetly scented shampoo. This was his happy place; she was his happy place.

After about thirty minutes, neither had heard a peep from Natalie, or her room, so Ed went to see how things were going. He knocked and called her name, but got no response. Slowly opening the door, he peered in only to find his daughter curled up on the bed, fast asleep. 'She did look exhausted when she got here' Ed thought. Closing the door, he joined Liv on the couch again.

"Hey babe. She's asleep. She did get here way ahead of schedule so she either left early or drove all night. Probably both," he spoke quietly, his eyes meeting Liv's. "I'm gonna have to have a talk with her about driving when she's tired." Ever the worrier when it comes to people he loves, he was greatly disturbed that Natalie had probably driven all night. This is exactly why he offered to pay for a plane ticket, more than once.

"Ed, I know you wanted me to meet Natalie this morning now that she's here early, and I am looking forward to meeting her properly, but I have to go get Noah." She looked at the time on her phone along with a text from Amanda. "Can we do dinner or something? The four of us?"

"Yeah. I think that'll work. I mean, I'll check with Nat when she wakes up, but it should be fine. You want me to call and make a reservation at that Italian place?"

"Sure," she replied, trying not to get nervous all over again. She stood and started to gather some of her things from the night before as Ed walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, stilling her.

"Babe, leave it. You and I both know you'll be back here. I'll put your clothes in the wash and they'll be ready for you when you come back." He turned her around so they were face to face and gently brushed his lips against hers. "Go get the little man. I'm sure he misses his mama."

"Okay," she hummed against his lips. Giving him one last peck, she grabbed her purse and was out the door.

* * *

A couple hours later Natalie awoke to the sound of her dad's laughter. Glancing at the clock, she groaned realizing she was starving. She drove all night to get to New York early and surprise her dad. Well, he was certainly surprised! And now she wanted food. It was just past noon and it had been a long time since she ate. Walking into the kitchen, she overheard her dad's side of a phone call.

"That kid is so funny sometimes. I swear, Liv, he is just like you," he chuckled again. Hearing Natalie searching the cabinets for coffee mugs, he turned on the couch and waved to her. "Hey, Nat's up so I'm gonna let you go. Yeah, the reservation is set for 7. Okay. Yeah, sounds good babe. Bye."

"Coffee cups are in the one next to the fridge, above the keurig," Ed explained with a small smile. He might not see his daughter very often, but she was a lot like him in certain regards, a definitive need for coffee first thing being one of them. "You hungry? We can order in or there's a fully stocked fridge."

Natalie immediately gulped some more coffee down and began searching the fridge for its contents. Settling on a sandwich, she gathered all the ingredients and got to work.

"So Olivia left?"

"Yeah, she wanted to meet you but you'd fallen asleep and she had to go pick up Noah. I actually made a reservation at a really great little Italian place at seven if you're up to it? For the four of us, I mean," he continued nervously.

"That sounds great dad. Um, I am sorry about walking in on… that… this morning," she added with a slight blush spreading across her cheeks. "I mean, I planned on surprising you and all, just not quite like that. I'm really freaking glad I didn't walk in a couple minutes later, though," she laughed.

"Me too," Ed murmured, not quite used to having Natalie's bluntness directed at him.

"Oh, what was that, Dadio?" she teased. "Okay, so Noah. You've told me a little bit about Olivia—and by a little bit I mean a lot—but not so much about the little one. What's he like?"

Tucker got a goofy grin and his face and pulled his cell phone out of his jeans pocket. "Well," he started, scrolling through pictures, "Here he is." He handed his phone to Natalie, though he couldn't take his eyes off it. It was his favorite picture of the three of them. Noah was playing with his favorite car and laughing, while Liv and Ed watched him with large smiles. They were all on the floor at Liv's apartment and Lucy had snapped the photo as she was leaving and sent it to Liv. Ed adored that photo, and even had it printed out and placed on his desk.

"You look really happy dad," Nat remarked. She looked at him and smiled softly. "I'm happy you found someone who makes you so happy. Okay, now spill! What is Noah like?"

He laughed and began again. "Okay, well I told you Olivia adopted him. He is pretty awesome. He's stubborn, just like his mother. Liv's been working on getting him caught up learning wise because he wasn't in a great environment for the beginning of his life. He's catching on and seems to be pretty smart. And he loves cars. Loves them. Well, okay, he loves crashing cars into things and people and then laughing. He absolutely adores Liv. You can see it whenever he looks at her, and it's adorable, but he did ask for me at bedtime the other night. So we get along."

Natalie listened to Ed talk about Noah and couldn't help but reminisce on her childhood. Though her parents split when she was nine, she had it pretty good growing up. When she was really little she was a total daddy's girl and a tomboy, so she played with cars all the time. That wasn't to say she didn't love playing with Barbie's too, but her favorite toy was the remote control racetrack that Ed had bought her for Christmas one year. It had two tracks so you could race the cars, and she and Ed would spend hours racing until the batteries died. The next day they would do it all over again. It made her happy that her dad got to experience that again. She knew most people would get a little jealous that their dad was playing daddy to another kid, but she knew how big her dad's heart was, and it overjoyed her that he was finally sharing it with someone else, specifically Olivia and Noah. Natalie knew that little boy would never experience a shortage of love as long as Ed was around.

"Nat? Hey, where'd you go just then?" Tucker asked looking at the pensive look on her face.

"Oh, I was just thinking about how lucky Noah is to have you," she assured. "You have a big heart, and I know you try to hide it beneath that tough cop, grumbly exterior, but it's true. He's lucky to have you. You obviously love him and Olivia. I really am happy for you dad." Natalie smiled brightly, seeing the happiness and relief dance across Ed's face.

* * *

Ed and Natalie decided to meet Liv and Noah at the restaurant so Nat had a little more time to get ready. She finally appeared from her room wearing a black dress that almost reached her knees, her dark auburn hair perfectly loose in natural waves.

"Wow, Nat. You look beautiful," Ed exclaimed.

"Is it too much? I can go change…" she dropped off, pointing back to her room.

"Natalie, you look perfect. And if we don't go now, we aren't going to make the reservation. Good to know some things don't change with you; you're always pushing time to get ready," he laughed. "Are you nervous or something? Liv's gonna love you. And I can guarantee she is a lot more nervous than you are right now."

"I just… you've never introduced me to anyone before. I know you've dated."

"Nat, I mean. Yes, I did date but it was never serious. Not until now. Just relax. Trust me, you guys will get along. Honestly, I'm a little worried you'll get along too well and just forget about me," he teased, getting a laugh from his daughter.

Meanwhile, Olivia was a nervous wreck getting ready to meet the pair at their favorite little Italian place. She'd changed her outfit six times even though she specifically bought a new dress for the occasion. It just didn't feel right anymore, not after that morning. It wasn't like it showed a lot of cleavage, but she definitely wanted to look more modest after the little show. Sighing, she called Amanda. The two definitely had a rocky relationship, but when they got along, they discovered they could actually be pretty great friends. The only problems occurred when one said something particularly harsh to the other, which happened more often than it should.

"Hey Amanda. Ugh, what do I wear tonight? I need your help here because I'm this close to losing it." Amanda laughed on the other end, knowing that Olivia was only freaking out about her outfit because of the predicament that morning.

"Liv, just wear the dress you bought. It honestly doesn't sound like it shows that much, and after this morning, she saw more of you than that dress will show. Now stop panicking and get moving! You don't want to be late, do you? Didn't think so. Now I'm going to hang up, and you just put on that dress, put on a smile, and get yourself and Noah to that restaurant. And Relax!" Amanda added right before the phone disconnected.

She reluctantly followed Amanda's advice, if not only to make it to dinner on time. Noah looked handsome as usual in a nice white polo with blue anchors on it. He, of course, insisted on bringing his car with him, and she was too stressed to argue about it for fear of a meltdown.

They all arrived at the restaurant at the same time, and Noah was immediately content to leave his mother's arms.

"Ed!" he enthusiastically called out, reaching for the man. Ed graciously accepted Noah in his arms, and reached around to kiss Liv. She briefly thought about turning her head so he'd kiss her cheek since Natalie was standing right there, but she figured his kiss would calm her nerves a little. She relaxed into his side for a brief moment before standing up straight and looking at his daughter.

Reaching out her hand, she began. "Natalie, it's nice to meet you." Natalie smiled and shook Liv's hand. 'Okay, this is going well,' Liv thought. 'I can do this.' What she didn't know was that Natalie was basically thinking the same thing.

 **Okay, so I realize this probably wasn't what you were expecting, but I wanted to set up their meeting a little bit. I imagine Liv would want to hold off for a while after her embarrassment just as I imagine Natalie's feelings about the whole situation would be complicated. Hopefully the muse will strike a little more after "Assaulting Reality" on Wednesday! Eventually, I plan on writing a story that goes along with this one but focuses more on Natalie but has definite tie-ins to SVU and Olivia Benson. Let me know what you think! Reviews are always appreciated (:**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own the characters that I am playing with, except for Natalie because she is my own curious creation.**

 **P.S. Sexiness is BACK in this chapter! (it's at the end, so just skip over it if that's not your thing).**

Once the four of them were seated in the restaurant, Natalie immediately started focusing on Noah. She never had any siblings, but she adored kids, and Noah was no different. She could tell her dad loved Noah as if he was his own, and even though it was a little odd to see, she welcomed it.

"So Noah, what's your favorite movie?"

The little boy immediately grinned and happily replied, "Cars!" As he turned his head towards Liv, she knew exactly what was coming next, so she grabbed his favorite toy from her purse.

"Noah, you can play with your car but you have to be quiet, okay? And you have to hold onto it. No rolling it away or you don't get to play anymore. Understand?" Liv offered lovingly but firmly.

He nodded his head excitedly and barely got out, "Yes mama," before he had his hands on it.

"Woah, Noah. That car is so cool! Is it your favorite?" He shook his head 'yes' and kept playing with the Lightening McQueen car, being mindful of his mother's rules. He was a fairly well behaved kid, save for the typical tantrums about bedtime, toys, and cookies.

Shifting her attention to Olivia, Natalie quietly observed the woman. She and Ed were speaking in hushed tones, his hand draped over the back of her chair, leaning in close. 'Olivia really is very pretty. Nice job dad,' Nat thought to herself. She glanced at her dad and saw how truly happy he seemed, and though she barely knew her, Natalie could tell Liv was just as happy.

"So Olivia, you work for the NYPD too? And yet you somehow managed to be roped in by the old man over there?" she lightheartedly teased, while maintaining her general curiosity.

Liv laughed lightly, easily engaged with Natalie's questioning, replying, "Yeah, I'm not quite sure how it happened either. I honestly couldn't stand him in the beginning, yet somehow here we are. And I'm glad we are."

"Well don't stop your conversation about me on account of me sitting right here," Ed's voice interrupted gruffly. Both women chuckled at Tucker's dry sense of humor, noting the happiness and laughter in his eyes as well.

"Don't you worry your pretty little head, Daddy. We would never stop talking about you on account of you being here," she smiled. "But if you could please shut up so we can continue talking about you, that'd be great." 'Natalie and her sass are definitely back in full swing,' Ed noted in his head while realizing how Liv's laughter enveloped him like a warm hug.

"Seriously though, I'm glad you put up with his stubborn as—butt. His stubborn butt," Nat quickly corrected. She mouthed "sorry" to Liv while pointing at Noah.

"It's alright Natalie. Trust me, I try to keep certain words away when Noah's around, but I've had my fair share of slip-ups. It happens." She took a sip of her water and decided to turn the tables. "So you go to UCLA? Do you like it there?"

Natalie's smile grew as she animatedly talked about how cool it was in California and how she enjoyed living there. "I mean, the school's pretty good but I mostly just love being so close to the beach! I can make it there in about a half hour, which is awesomeeee! It's definitely more my speed than Seattle. For the life of me, I cannot figure out what compelled mom and Steven to move there, of all places," she shook her head.

Their orders were taken and food had arrived. All three adults were enjoying each other's company while Natalie and Olivia got to know each other a little better. Ed was surprised at some of what Olivia shared so easily with his daughter.

"Can I ask you something, Liv?" Natalie questioned.

"I have a feeling you would ask anyways, but yes." They both smiled a little at that.

"Why haven't you been married before? I mean, you just seem pretty awesome so I don't get it." Well, Olivia really wasn't expecting that question, but she did say Natalie could ask.

"Oh," she started hesitantly. "I'm not usually very good at the whole relationship thing. For starters, I'm a cop who gets called out at all hours and I don't have a whole lot of time at home. That gets to people very fast; they are either okay with it or they aren't. Add in an overprotective partner for twelve years who happens to be your guy best friend, relationships never really have a chance to last," she smiled sadly.

Taking a sip of her lemonade, Natalie continued to press, "Have you ever been close?"

"To marriage?" Liv laughed. "Once I guess, but not for the right reasons." Seeing the confusion on both Ed and Natalie's faces, she cautiously continued. "My relationship with my mother was complicated to say the least. I was the product of her rape and she never really learned how to handle that so she drank a lot. She was an English professor and when I was sixteen I started dating one of her students. He was twenty-one and he proposed..." She took a breath to steady herself, looking down to avoid Ed's gaze. "I said yes because I couldn't stand being there with her anymore. I needed to get out. When I told her, she flipped out and threatened to get him kicked out of college. Needless to say that didn't happen." Liv left out the part where Serena had chased her with a jagged bottle of Vodka and her own reaction to the incident. She tried her hardest not to get emotional but it was hard not to when rehashing her past.

"Wow, Olivia, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up—" Natalie was interrupted by Liv.

"Oh no, Natalie it's fine. I did say you could ask." Liv offered them a small smile. She knew Ed's mind was probably spinning with new details of her past that she hadn't offered him before, but she tried to focus on Natalie.

"What about you, Natalie? You have anybody in your life at the moment?"

Ed couldn't help himself and spoke up before Natalie even had a chance. "She better not considering I haven't heard anything yet." He looked at his daughter pointedly.

Natalie rolled her eyes as she answered Liv's question, "Relax dad. I'm not seeing anyone right now." She added, under her breath of course, "Not that I would tell my dad."

"What was that, Natalie Grace?"

"Nothing dad. I was just saying how much I love my overprotective, pain in the butt father," she grinned, knowing he heard exactly what she said. Olivia laughed, relieved that the focus was back off her for now. It's not that she didn't want Ed to know about her past, she just didn't like talking about it.

* * *

They continued their discussion and getting to know each other at Liv's apartment after dinner. Noah had finally drifted off to sleep in Ed's arms after playing. Olivia let him stay up a little later than usual because Natalie was playing cars with him. She stood up to take Noah from Tucker, but he stopped her.

"I got it Liv. You just relax."

"You don't have to, I can do it." Ed shot her a glance that said 'Just listen to me. I mean it,' and she sat back down. "Good night sweet Noah," she whispered, kissing his head softly.

As soon as Ed was out of earshot, Natalie sat down on the couch next to her. "He really loves him, you know." Natalie watched as Olivia's eyes lit up and she smiled.

"I know. He's a good man, your dad. Does it bother you? Him and Noah, I mean," she questioned.

"Not at all. I know my dad loves me. He's always been there for me, even when mom and Steven moved me to Seattle. I'm closer to him than I am with my mom. He doesn't sugarcoat things just to avoid hurt feelings. I guess we have a lot in common so he just understands me more than she does. I'm glad he found you and Noah, though. You make him happy. It's nice to see him so happy."

Olivia opened her mouth to reply when Ed walked back into the living room. "Talking about me again?" he lightheartedly asked.

"Psshhhh, talking about you? Why waste our time?" Natalie teased.

Feigning a stab to the heart, Tucker grabbed his chest dramatically as he choked out, "Ouch. Breaking my heart into tiny pieces, Nat."

Olivia enjoyed watching the two react to each other; Natalie was right, they seemed to get along very well. The shrill ringing of her cell phone interrupted the three.

"Benson," she answered, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. This was definitely not how she wanted to end her night. "Okay, thanks for calling Sergeant. I'll be in as soon as I can." Hanging up, she groaned and her head hit the back of the couch. Ed pulled her off the couch and rubbed his hands down her arms.

"Hey. You gonna be gone all night?"

She shook her head 'no' and explained, "Probably not. The vic will only talk to a woman and doesn't want any man present so Rollins and I are going in. We'll probably just take her statement and let the guys handle the rest for now. I've got to call Lucy." As she was reaching for her phone, Ed stopped her.

"Why don't Natalie and I just stay here with Noah? There's no need to call Lucy since you'll probably be back tonight anyways. Nat can sleep on the couch."

She glanced between Ed and Natalie before she relented, knowing the faster she left, the sooner she'd get home. It took her less than five minutes to put on work clothes, grab her badge, gun, and cell phone, and return to the living room.

"Thank you. Seriously Ed, thank you. I'll be home as soon as I can." With that, she turned to go, but Ed reached for her arm and pulled her back to him, gently kissing her goodbye.

"See you later babe. Be safe."

* * *

Ed's plans for a romantic evening at Liv's had just been put on hold, yet again. He was so ready for this reality TV disaster to be over with. He was infuriated by those producers for setting up SVU, both on a personal and professional level. Not only had they insulted the intelligence of the entire NYPD with the set up, but they'd also dragged Olivia's name through the mud, portraying her and her unit as incompetent. On top of all of that, those damn producers ruined his plans for a nice evening, an evening he had been trying to get with Liv for weeks. Having Natalie in New York was wonderful, and he really was enjoying it, but it also meant less time for just him and Liv.

It had been almost a month since Natalie arrived, and they were clearly still adjusting. He wasn't used to sharing his apartment and space with anyone, nor was he used to the constant worrying about his daughter's whereabouts. It's not that he didn't constantly worry about her when she was in L.A.—because he definitely did—but there was a different type of worrying now. She was here with him in New York. Here, he almost felt more responsible for her, because he New York was his city, and he knew all the shit that happened, and that would not be happening to his daughter under his watch.

Natalie had decided to go visit her best friend Elizabeth for a few days, which meant that Ed would finally have Liv to himself after Noah went to sleep. She'd been working so hard lately and they'd barely had a chance to do more than a quick call here or a dinner there. The lack of each other's presence was taking its toll on the couple, which made the interruption of this case even worse.

He pulled Liv aside after Heart's Desire aired its scathing episode, infuriating the squad members. He knew she would probably want to stay and try to do as much damage control as possible tonight.

"I guess I'll leave you to do your thing here but I wanted to say goodbye before I left," he offered, reaching for her hand.

"You know what, I'm not going to be able to do much here tonight anyways so wait for me. I'm going with you." Tucker's heart leapt at the chance of finally spending some time with Olivia.

After she told her squad she was heading out for the night, she returned to her office grabbing her jacket, and practically dragged Ed out of the precinct. The drive to her apartment went by quickly and Noah was already sleeping when Lucy left. They ordered Chinese on the way home so it would be delivered around the time they arrived. Once they'd staved off their hunger, they cuddled on the couch, finally able to just relax into each other.

"I missed you. I feel like I haven't really spent time with you in so long," she murmured, stroking his cheek with her hand. Pulling him into a kiss, they relished the moment. "Okay, so tonight wasn't the romantic night you intended, but I plan on making the most of it anyways," she whispered against his lips.

"I like the sound of that, Lieutenant," he growled.

It didn't take the pair long to make sure the apartment door was locked, turn off the lights, check in on Noah, and meet in the bedroom. What began as a slow kiss heated up very quickly into a passionate one. They hadn't gone this long without sex since the beginning of their relationship, and definitely hadn't planned on it. Their schedules and Natalie's move had changed things for sure, but they spent as much time together as possible.

Desperately dragging the clothes off each other, their mouths continued their exploration. Liv pushed him back on the bed gently, straddling him immediately, clad only in her lacy red bra and thong. She leaned her head down, crashing their mouths together yet again for another searing kiss. Ed's hands grasped at her hips slowly dragging them over his. She moaned in his mouth lightly. He pulled back and severed the connection only to nip at her neck and soothe it with his tongue.

Ed to flipped them over, taking full control after only a few moments. He quickly pinned her arms about her head with his own, lacing their fingers as he kissed down her body. His tongue flicked over her bra, caressing each nipple with caring adoration before his head dipped even lower. Dropping his arms from where he had her pinned, he spread her thighs apart giving him more access. He kissed her inner thighs causing Liv to squirm beneath him. She reached around and unhooked her bra, dragging it off and throwing it on the floor as he slowly pulled her thong down her legs. It joined her bra on the floor and he made his way back to her heat.

"God Ed," she gasped, reaching down to push his head toward her center.

Deciding that he'd teased her enough for now, he gave in to her desires. Lapping at her core, she moaned in appreciation. Ed couldn't help but smile proudly at her gasping when he sucked on her clit. Pulling back, he felt her wetness and softly pushed his finger into her causing her to arch her back and bite down on her lip. He dedicatedly continued fingering her while his tongue ravaged her and before the sensations became too strong to handle, she grabbed his head to stop him.

Olivia pulled him back up her body, eagerly surrendering to his tongues scorching duel with her own. She wrapped her arms around his back and pulled his chest tightly to hers. The sensation of her hard nipples against him sent chills throughout his body. While continuing their kiss, Liv reached under his boxers and pumped his throbbing erection a couple times before letting it go. She decided he was straining against his boxers for long enough, so she pushed them down as he hurriedly kicked them off.

"Mmmm babe," she groaned. "Fuck me. Please." Ed was starting to experience sensory overload. The way she moaned as she touched him, the feel of her warm body pressed against his own, the way their mouths melded together with her taste, everything. It was almost too much for him.

"Turn over on your stomach," he growled lowly. His voice sent shivers down her aching body. As soon as she flipped over, his hands kneaded her plump ass. Tucker dragged his lips from her lower back up to her neck; she tilted her head to the side to give him more access. Careful to not leave any marks, he nipped and kissed again.

Knowing she was more than ready for him, he reached down and lined up with her dripping center. He pushed in, hearing her gasp as he moaned. Slowly, he pulled out almost all the way before slamming back in.

"This okay?" he managed to grunt.

"God yes, Ed, don't stop. Feels so good," she cried out. He continued pumping in and out of her, the sexy noises she kept making turning him on even more. He was hitting into her at the perfect angle and she's not sure she's ever felt something so exquisite in her life. Sure, they had great sex before but this was incredible! Maybe it was because they had to wait. Either way, she wasn't going to spend time analyzing why it was so great right now, she was just going to enjoy it.

He collapsed against her for a brief moment, pausing only to turn her head and kiss her hard before he continued his deep thrusts. Her hands gripped the sheets tightly as she felt him pound into her. She clenched around him and whimpered. Ed somehow managed to hold out and continue throughout her orgasm, slowing down his thrusts but going no less deep each time.

"God Liv. You're so fucking perfect. You feel so good," his breath hitched. He reached around and flicked her still sensitive bud, causing her to bury her face in the pillow to stifle the noise. He pulled Liv up on her knees and continued thrusting into her. Though the new angle allowed her to relax a bit after her earlier climax, Ed had other plans. He carefully gripped her hip with one hand as the other rubbed her clit. She drew closer and closer to bliss as he bent down placing kisses on her back. Biting her lip to stay quiet, she relished hearing Ed's low grunts, knowing he was just as close as she was. This time when hit her peak, her body shuddered and her legs shook while they both cried out in unison. She felt Ed's warmth spill into her as he slowed his thrusts to a standstill.

He kissed between her shoulder blades before he pulled out, not wanting to crush her; she groaned at the feeling of loss. They both lay back onto the pillows trying to regain their breath and their strength. They were both fully sated and exhausted after finally coming together, but just before Ed fell asleep he opened his eyes and looked over at Liv. She was breathing evenly and had already succumbed to sleep. He hated having to wake her up, but he knew he needed to.

Kissing her shoulder he gently shook her arm as he called her name. "Liv. Olivia you need to wake up for a second babe." Her eyelids fluttered open and she gave him a soft smile.

"What? I thought we were tired now," she mumbled, trying and failing to keep her eyes open.

"Babe we have to put clothes on in case Noah comes in." Knowing he was right, she grabbed a t-shirt and clean underwear and shakily trudged into the bathroom to clean up. Ed followed her with his shorts in hand. Even though they were exhausted, they decided a quick shower now would be better going to sleep sweaty, amongst other things. Within five minutes they were showered, dressed, and making the bed with fresh sheets.

Climbing in, Liv turned to Ed and whispered, "I know this wasn't the romantic evening you had planned for us, but I'm really glad we did this." Placing a chaste kiss on his lips she finished, "I missed you."

"I missed you too, Olivia. I don't think I can go that long without spending time with you again. I don't just mean the sex either. I just really missed being around you."

He pulled her into his arms and they settled into each other. She had a busy day ahead of her dealing with the aftermath of the Heart's Desire fiasco, and he knew there was a good chance she wouldn't have time to see him. He snuggled even closer to her at the thought. There was always a chance he could hang with Noah after work tomorrow though. They could have some male bonding time until mommy got home. That thought alone brought a smile to his face as he drifted of to sleep.

 **Please, please, please review! It's helpful to know what you like/dislike as long as you aren't rude about it! Thanks for reading lovely people!**

 **...**

 **seriously, review.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I'm still not over the finale. I will actually never be over the finale. It was quite honestly if not my favorite episode, definitely in my top 3 of all time. That being said, sorry it took me so long to post this. The ideas were there but writing it eluded me. THANK YOU ALL for your reviews! They made my days happier and made me want to write more (even if it took me a while, sorry about that). mmkbrook, they are definitely headed in that direction (:**

 **Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own the characters that I am playing with, except for Natalie because she is my own curious creation. Underlined portions are direct quotes from episodes.**

 **Trigger Warning: Sealview mentioned**

Silence. The silence was suffocating. She didn't want to walk down that hallway and she didn't want to tell her squad that Mike was gone. That it was her fault. People would start saying that he was a cop and that it was his choice to be there… but she left him in that house. She was his lieutenant. Ultimately, she was responsible. She glanced up at her fractured squad at the end of the hallway and she never even had to say anything. They all knew.

It didn't matter that Mike had been leaving SVU; he was part of their squad. Nobody planned on liking him when he started, but he'd grown on each of them in their own way. Olivia had grown to rely on Dodds as her sergeant, her number two. He'd been there for her during the whole Catholic Church fiasco when she was transferred. He'd kept her and Ed in the loop even though it put his own job at risk. He didn't let Olivia continue to blame Amanda for leaking that video to the press, though he could've easily scapegoated her. Mike Dodds was a good man.

As soon as Amanda saw the devastation on Liv's face, she turned away. She'd grown to respect Mike and her heart broke a little. She couldn't be there anymore. It was a shit day and she needed a meeting ASAP. Fin was stunned. He'd never really grown close to the guy, but Mike was a good cop. He spent his last day at SVU fully dedicated to the job…and because of that dedication he lost his life. Carisi's heart shattered in his chest. For a guy who started at SVU with an empathy problem, he was the squad member with the most compassion now. He respected Dodds and didn't give him any trouble during Benson's transfer.

And Ed. Ed made his way to the end of the hallway with her squad just as she'd left Chief Dodds and Alice to grieve. One look at Liv and he was headed for her. Neither spoke as he pulled her close to his chest, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace as if to tell her he was never letting go. Olivia sobbed silently into him. He felt an overwhelming amount of relief that Olivia hadn't been the one in that house. She really just wanted to go home and snuggle Noah for hours and then drink about a bottle of wine. She knew the alcohol wouldn't solve anything, though, and she'd promised Ed to try not to drink when she felt like she needed to. Tucker's hand made its way up into her hair, his thumb soothingly rubbing the back of her neck to calm her down a little.

She's not quite sure how she made it home that night. She was living in a haze. She briefly recalls Ed leading her out of the hospital but remembers nothing about the ride to her apartment. Mike Dodds is dead. The thought is ridiculous because they were just eating cake and wishing him well in another unit.

"Olivia," Ed spoke in a soft, yet commanding enough voice to snap her out of her thoughts for a moment. "We need to get you into comfier clothes for bed, hon." He held up a pair of yoga pants and her favorite t-shirt, one that was originally his until she'd claimed it for herself. Olivia barely nodded her head in recognition, but Ed helped her out of her work attire and into the pajamas. He'd stripped down into his boxers, but found a pair of sweats to put on so he could go check on Noah. The boy was asleep; they'd gotten in very late after all, but Tucker still wanted to check on him before his own head hit the pillow.

When he returned, he saw that Olivia hadn't moved from where she sat at the edge of the bed. He pulled back the blankets and slid in behind her, pulling her body to a laying position. She immediately curled into him and began the silent crying again. Eventually she'd tired and fallen asleep, though Ed had drifted off before her.

Whimpering and sudden movement woke Ed up with a jolt. Olivia was thrashing about, knocking the blankets off the bed. He'd seen nightmares before, but he'd never seen _her_ nightmares.

"Liv. It's okay. Wake up hon." He gently shook her arm, which was apparently a mistake because she immediately took a swing at him. When her fist connected with his jaw, he knew that this wasn't even a "normal" nightmare about the job. This was worse. She shot up and her eyes frantically searched the bedroom, flinching when Ed turned on the light.

"Hey Liv. It's just me. You alright?" She looked at him and curled up into a ball, as if to protect herself, to keep the world out. Ed carefully moved closer so he could put his arms around her and he felt her shaking.

He was almost afraid to ask, but he couldn't help himself. "Olivia, that wasn't just about Mike was it?" His quiet but commanding question caused her to look up and catch his gaze. She quickly looked away, but shook her head 'no' confirming his suspicions. "Olivia…" he absentmindedly ran his hands down his face while trying to figure out how have her answer the question without causing her even more pain. "Liv, was that the first time you had that nightmare?"

"No. It wasn't," she quietly murmured. He read her lips more than he heard her reply. Olivia took a deep breath to fortify herself enough to say the words that she'd been avoiding for as long as possible. She wasn't sure she was ready to talk about it, but she knew she was breaking apart by staying silent.

"Munson… he um, he brought up some old memories for me… Ed I think we need to talk about Sealview."

* * *

As much as she trusted Lindstrom, sometimes she couldn't help but feel like he was full of shit. No, the bullet wasn't what technically killed Mike, it was the clots and the hemorrhaging, but she was responsible either way. No matter what anybody else told her, she was the one who left him in that house. She played with the tissue in her hands, fidgeting while looking down.

He was forceful and commanding, his voice unwavering when he continued to respond to Olivia. "You said there were two children there, you got them out. They have their mother."

She let out a breath, "And Chief Dodds doesn't have his son. Why does he deserve that?" The tears threatened to spill. She couldn't wrap her head around a parent losing their child forever. She'd almost lost it when Johnny D threated to get Noah, and that was just a threat. Knowing she was partially to blame for a parent's loss was more than she could bear. It was unimaginable.

"Or do you mean why do you deserve to live and Dodds is dead? You've got to mourn this loss but you cannot judge yourself for feeling relieved that you survived." He'd responded immediately, almost quick enough to stop her never-ending thoughts.

"I cant?" she quietly asked.

"You are lucky to be alive and Noah is lucky that you are, but that is not why you left that house. I know you think you know everything, but no one could've predicted what was going to happen there. It was Dodds time. It wasn't yours." If it hadn't been within this situation, she probably would've laughed at his assertion that she thinks she knows everything, but too much had happened to laugh right now.

'Jesus I'm sick of crying. I have a headache from all of this,' she thought as she barely nodded in acknowledgment.

"Olivia, I won't lie to you. This isn't going to be easy for you. But you do have a support system with Ed, Natalie, and your squad. Lean on them. Don't shut them out and don't run away."

Ouch. No matter how much time she'd spent with Dr. Lindstrom, she never got used to him understanding her immediate gut reactions to certain situations. He knew that her first instinct was to pull away… and to run. She looked up at him through her tear-stained eyes as he continued.

"You said Ed showed up to the hospital to be there for you. What was your reaction to that? What did you say when he asked if you were alright?"

"I…I told him to just be there." Realization dawned on her that she didn't use her typical line: 'I'm fine.'

Lindstrom gave her a small smile. "I'd say that's progress for you, Olivia. Letting yourself lean on your loved ones, on your friends and family, that's what will help get you through this." He paused for a few moments to let it all sink in.

"So, on the phone you mentioned how, beyond everything else, the case stirred up some old feelings for you?"

"Yes," she answered weakly. "Munson, he, um. He was raping women at Riker's as well as on the outside. When we arrested him he had a woman in a basement." By the end of that statement her voice was just above a whisper.

"Olivia?" Dr. Lindstrom prompted her to continue.

"I had another nightmare… about Sealview. It's been a while since, well since my last one."

Sensing more than her usual level of discomfort he asked, "What was different about it this time?"

"Ed. Ed was there with me. It was the same nightmare as always. I'm there at Sealview… alone with Harris. He handcuffs me and starts unzipping his," she chokes back a sob. "His, uh pants. Just as he was about to, um, force himself, force me…But Ed woke me up. I freaked out and punched him in the jaw." She buries her head in her hands trying to calm herself down. No matter how many times she had that nightmare, talking about it never got easier.

Dr. Lindstrom gave her a moment to compose herself before he opened his mouth to speak. She surprised both of them when she started talking first.

"I told him about it. About what Harris tried to do to me. About what he, he almost did to me." She went silent for a minute, not quite sure what to say. It was one thing to have the nightmares, but she was beyond that. She was back to having the helpless feelings, the fear of sleeping. Olivia didn't doubt Ed's feelings for her, but there was a small part of her that always wondered why he would want to be with her when she was such a mess.

"I told you that he and I have history. He arrested me on a murder charge. The evidence pointed to me; I was being set up. But when he interrogated me, he brought up the idea that I'd dealt with a lot of rapists. And essentially suggested that the vic had tried to assault me, bringing up old wounds, and that I had PTSD so I killed him. None of that happened. I never knew the vic… but Tucker was convinced that I'd killed that man."

"Wow. That's an intense sort of history. Let me ask, why did you bring that up, Olivia? What about that is bothering you now?"

Her voice was still unsteady from their intense therapy session, but she continued. "He brought it up last night. Fin was the only person that knew how close Harris came to raping me, and that was only because he saved me. Ed," her voice trailed off. Taking a deep breath, she tried again. "Ed apologized for what he said. That whole situation happened years ago. Another lifetime… He and I are both two completely different people than we were back then. Looking back on it now, it seems ridiculous that I was so upset by his suggestion because all the evidence pointed to me. If I'd been guilty, he was giving me a way out. I just… it's hard for me to accept an apology from him when I don't think he needs to apologize."

Dr. Lindstrom took a moment and looked at Olivia as if he had his own revelation.

Starting to get self-conscious because of the look and the silence, she spoke again. "What?"

"You are very clearly a different person now than you were a year ago, so it's obvious to me that you are very different from the person that you were many years ago. You've grown a lot as a person Olivia. You've overcome seemingly impossible situations and experiences, and you've found a person that you want to spend your life with. You're not running; instead, you're relying on another person. Have you told him that you love him?"

A light blush spread across her cheeks as she answered truthfully, "We haven't said that in so many words, but we both know how we feel." Dr. Lindstrom watched as her eyes lit up at the discussion of being in love with Ed. Olivia Benson was nothing if not a fighter, a survivor. And even though life was hard sometimes, she was conquering the fear and blossoming.

* * *

When Olivia walked into her apartment, she was greeted by the unexpected soft snores of both Noah and Ed. They were sleeping on the couch, Noah on Ed's chest and Ed's arms holding him close, while "Cars" was playing on the TV for the millionth time. The image of her two boys content and together never ceased to bring her overwhelming peace. As much as she didn't want to disturb the pair, Ed would wake long before her son did, and it would just be easier if Noah woke up when she moved him now rather than later when Ed stirred. At least now he would be given a chance to fall back asleep if he did wake.

She carefully wrapped her arms around him, prying him loose from Tucker's grasp, and carried him into his bedroom. The boy didn't wake; he merely stirred a little and snuggled into his bed. Ed, on the other hand, woke as soon as Olivia had taken her son from his arms.

Olivia made her way back to the couch and snuggled up to Ed's side. As soon as she was comfortable against him, he moved his arm around her gently rubbing up and down.

His voice, still laced with sleep, was low and sexy as hell when he said, "Hi." Liv looked up at him, wrapping her arm around his neck and pulling him in for a kiss.

"Hi," she replied easily, licking her upper lip tasting their kiss.

"I know you might not want to talk about it so I won't push too much, but I think you need to. How did it go with Lindstrom?" His eyes searched hers conveying his seriousness but not without showing his love.

"It was good. I mean, none of it was easy to talk about, but he helped me realize some things." Her hand drifted across his stomach until it finally rested around his side while her head tucked into his shoulder. His gaze drifted down to her but she wasn't looking up at him anymore.

"Liv," he pushed.

"I know, I know. I'm just… trying to figure out what I want to say here exactly." She paused for a moment to gather her thoughts. "I've always been the person who acts like she's invincible. I hate showing weakness. Part of that stems from childhood with my mother, but part of that is from being a female cop. The NYPD has been my life for so many years and I've always felt like I needed to work harder than the men to prove myself. People expected me to fall apart and not be able to handle the job, especially when I started in SVU, but eventually I managed this 'Badass Benson' reputation. Now that's what people expect from me…Badass Benson, all the time. So I tell everyone that 'I'm fine' when they ask if I'm okay or if I need anything." A small smile appeared on her face as she looked up at Ed, her eyes getting watery. "But at the hospital when you asked, I didn't tell you I was fine. I didn't lie to you. For the first time in so long, I let myself need somebody to lean on. I let myself need you."

Tucker untangled their limbs from each other as he bent down to capture her lips with his. He pulled back to gently wipe the tears forming from her eyes before kissing her forehead and then her mouth again. It was a kiss of reassurance and love, of devotion and peace with each other.

"Liv, I'll be here for as long as you'll have me. I want you to lean on me. You and Natalie and Noah… you're everything to me. Thank you for trusting me enough to be honest with me," he spoke against her lips. Her hands found their way to his face, cupping his cheeks as she looked into his baby blue pools.

"Thank you for being here." That simple statement was enough to effectively end their conversation for now. As much as she appreciated having deep meaningful conversations with him, after their talk and the session with Dr. Lindstrom, she was talked out and exhausted. Instead, she leaned in to give him one final kiss before she stood.

Ed looked confused when she retreated into her bedroom. A minute later she returned, having changed her clothes.

"When Noah gets up let's go to the store and then we can make dinner and invite Natalie over. I haven't spent time with her in the past couple weeks and I miss her." Tucker smiled. "Hey, have you seen my phone?" She began looking around the room but didn't see it anywhere.

"Here," Ed handed her his cell. "Use mine." She thanked him and immediately dialed Natalie's number.

"Hey dad, what's up?" Natalie answered.

"Not your dad this time. I seem to have temporarily misplaced my phone," she laughed. "Anyways, I was calling to ask if you're free for dinner tonight. I know it's last minute but I haven't seen you in a couple weeks and we miss you."

"Uh, tonight? What time? I miss you too." It's not that Natalie didn't want to go see her dad, Liv, and Noah, but she'd promised a guy from her internship that she'd go hang out with him. Not that she was going to tell either of them about that.

"6:30 sound good?"

"Sure. Are we going out or meeting at your place?"

"Just meet us here. Dinner should be ready no later than 6:45." Before Olivia had the chance to say anything else, Ed snagged the phone and walked away from Liv.

"Hey Nat. I'm glad your coming over. I want to talk to you about something before you leave tonight, okay? Just don't say anything in front of Olivia."

"Okay? But you have me very intrigued and I can bet you walked away from her and she's trying to listen to what you're saying to me." He turned around and sure enough, Olivia was there.

"Yeah I know. I gotta go but I'll see you later. Love you kiddo." Natalie laughed, knowing she was right, and said her goodbyes. Ed hung up the phone and looked at Olivia.

"What?" he asked innocently in response to her signature single eyebrow raise.

"You talking about me?" she smirked, teasing him as she wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. "You do know I'm going to find out what you were discussing with your daughter, right?"

He turned his head away and returned her smirk before answering. "Whatever you say, Benson."

 **Whoo. So that was kind of a heavy chapter. Liv's going through a lot, but never fear. It's almost impossible for me to write without a little love or happiness. Send me your thoughts, good or bad in a review or find me on twitter at Beautifulfaith3. Even if your reviews aren't posted (for a while they wouldn't show up), I get them emailed to me, so please never let that stop you from dropping a line. Thanks for reading, lovelies!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry I haven't updated this in over a month! I ended up writing and updating more for Natalie's Truth (the sequel of sorts to this story). Anyways, sorry again. All of your follows, favorites, and reviews mean the world to me! Underlined portions are direct quotes.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own them (sad day) except for Natalie so please don't sue me. Mistakes are mine.**

 **Sexiness is definitely in this one (I left you all for far too long so I figured I at least owed you some Tuckson smut). Enjoy!**

Natalie walked through the apartment door promptly at 6:30 and was greeted by the delicious smells of tacos. She made a mental note to thank Olivia because she'd wanted tacos all week.

"Hey guys!" she called out as a chorus of hellos responded. Noah, clad in his favorite dinosaur shirt and a pair of khaki shorts, ran around Ed and Olivia to properly say hello by running straight into Natalie's legs. She bent down and met him at his height.

"Hi there." After taking in his appearance, she whistled at his cuteness and he giggled. "Wow buddy! You look super handsome. What's your name?"

"Noah siwwy!" He laughed even harder when she poked his belly.

"Noah? I don't think you're Noah," she frowned, egging him on.

"Yes! I Noah!" he giggled some more.

"Are you sure you're Noah?" The little boy nodded his head enthusiastically as she dramatically gestured as if she were considering it.

"Nah, you can't be Noah! He's always playing with his Lightning McQueen car." With that, he raced back to his toys so he could find the car, proving to Natalie that he was actually Noah.

She looked up and saw her dad had been watching her with a smile on his face. She walked over and hugged him as he kissed the top of her head. Olivia jumped in then, not wanted Ed and Noah to get all the hugs.

"Hey there sweet girl. I've missed you," Liv exclaimed, pulling Natalie into her arms. "How have you been? How's your internship?"

Natalie chuckled a little at the questions and poured herself some lemonade. "Woah, slow down. I'm good. The internship is hard work, but it's good too. And I missed you too, Livvie." She flashed her brilliant smile, aware that nobody called Olivia "Livvie" and got away with it; nobody that is, except Natalie herself.

Noah zoomed back into the kitchen with his red car in his hand while Natalie acted surprised to see him.

"Woah! Noah it _is_ you!" He grinned and Ed picked him up, carrying him back into the living room.

"Let's go bud. We're cooking dinner and it's very hot so we have to stay out here for now." Noah simply nodded and agreed before sitting back down by his toys. For being so young, he was a well-behaved kid.

Back in the kitchen, Olivia was letting the taco meat finish up on the stove while she gathered the plates and silverware. Natalie had busied herself with getting out all of the taco toppings, guacamole, chips and drinks out of the fridge to help Liv.

Liv glanced into the living room and saw that Ed was preoccupied watching tv and playing with Noah to be paying attention to her conversation so she turned towards Natalie. "So are things really going okay for you out here? You've been keeping busy."

"Yeah," she bit her lower lip as if to consider how much to tell Olivia. "I mean, I'm pretty busy with my internship. To be honest, I didn't think I'd be this busy doing a social media internship, but I've learned a lot."

"Well I'm glad you're at least learning a lot then, even if you don't have time for me anymore," she teased. "What about friends? It's gotta be a little hard since your friend from school didn't move here with you."

"Elizabeth's here, or, well close by anyways. I was spending a lot of time with her but she has guy drama going on so she hasn't wanted to do much lately. But I've met some cool people through my internship and I've gone out with them a few times."

"Going out? Care to expand on that?" The smile gave away that she was mostly joking, but an underlying curiosity remained.

Natalie laughed. "Nope. Sorry Livvie. You're not getting any more out of me yet. I'll go tell the boys we're ready to eat."

* * *

Around 9:45 Natalie was just about to head out. She had fun with her dad, Olivia, and Noah and ended up staying a lot longer than she'd anticipated. After Liv put Noah in bed, Natalie read him his story. Liv invited her to have a glass of wine together once Noah was asleep, which quickly turned into two and a half. Worried about his daughter's safety, Ed decided to just drive her home.

Goodbyes didn't take long and they were out the door quickly. Ed had his arm draped around Natalie's shoulder protectively as she laughed at his seriousness.

"Dad why are you so nervous? Just ask her! I'm sure she'll say yes. What girl wouldn't say yes to that? Plus you know she'll love it, you're just worrying for nothing," she rolled her eyes.

"You really think so Nat? I don't want to screw this up with her. I love her."

"I know you do dad. She loves you too, even if you stubborn idiots haven't actually said it to each other yet."

He chuckled at her carefree assessment of his relationship and was immediately thankful that Natalie was so understanding about everything. He'd gotten lucky with her as a daughter. He knew a lot of kids wouldn't be so easygoing in her situation, but she handled most things with grace and, of course, her brash sense of humor, making it much easier for him.

When they made it to their apartment, Natalie was hardly surprised when he told her he was going to spend the night with Olivia again. He'd been staying there most nights since Dodds' death because she wanted him to be there. The couple was well on their way to moving in together but hadn't made it official yet.

Natalie turned and kissed Ed on the cheek before thanking him for the ride home. He waited outside the building until he saw the light turn on, signaling she'd made it inside safely. With that, he turned back to Liv's and tried to calm his nerves.

* * *

Olivia, Ed, and Noah had been out enjoying the nice weather. Noah had woken up early, yet again, and even though she was exhausted, she would never regret the lack of sleep if it meant spending a day with her boys. The couple had apparently started a new trend: deep discussions. Ed declared he was leaving IAB because he learned to trust again… because of her. As if that wasn't enough of a shock, he'd actually said he needed a break and just asked her what she thought of Paris.

"Paris?" God she just had to respond in that low, sensual voice that turned him on so damned much.

"Yeah," he shrugged. 'Keep it cool, Tucker. Don't act like this is a big deal because you don't want her to freak out or say it's too much.'

"I like it." Even though she wasn't big on PDA, Paris called for a special occasion and she leaned in to kiss Ed. It was a kiss full of promise and hope for their future together, their future as a family. They both pulled away smiling knowing that later they would properly celebrate their impending trip to France.

The trio continued their walk in the New York streets, both adults daydreaming about what they would do in Paris. Olivia had a lot more on her mind than just Paris, though. Sealview, Dodds, Paris… Ed Tucker leaving IAB for her, for their family. So many things had changed in such a quick amount of time. She was realizing that so much could happen in a single instant; one moment could alter their lives forever. Liv wanted to enjoy life and not live dreading what could happen.

Noah's infectious giggles interrupted her thoughts and she was brought back to the present. They'd made it to the park and were standing in the grass. Tucker was tickling him and Noah was calling for his mommy to save him.

"Save you? I don't know, Noah. I think it might be more fun to get you!" Noah had started laughing harder before she even reached out to join in the tickling.

Tucker looked at Olivia and Noah and couldn't believe that they were part of his family. He'd gotten so lucky with them. Luckily, Natalie fit right into the picture and she adored them as well. He stopped the tickling and looked conspiratorially over at Noah, whispering in the boy's ear.

Sensing the impending attack, Olivia shrieked, "No, no, no! You don't get to turn against me!" She started running away, but didn't get very far before Ed had snatched her up in his arms, sitting her down on the grass so Noah could exact his revenge. The small boy ran straight into his mother's open arms, hugging her before he began tickling.

She laughed while grabbing Ed's hand, pulling him down to sit with them in the grass. Amidst all the dark days that had made up the previous week, she was content here. She wasn't going to allow herself to fall into the depths of dark thinking right now. There was too much at stake. Olivia wasn't going to miss a single moment with Noah and Ed right now.

* * *

"So…" she began, "Paris?" She'd said it in that low, sensual voice again as rubbed the lotion down her perfect calves. Her short, black silk robe only added to the sexiness that exuded from the woman. Tucker gazed at her from his place in bed appreciatively. Reading glasses were perched on his nose because he had been reading about possible Parisian vacation activities while she'd gotten ready for bed. Olivia moved to her side of the bed and slid in next to Ed. She'd barely made herself comfortable when he threw off his glasses and pounced on her, straddling her legs.

He leaned in and pecked her lips before answering. "Mmmm, yes, Liv. Paris." Ed had whispered those words against her lips, fully knowing that was a huge turn on. He searched her deep brown eyes, seeking permission to continue. The small smirk barely appeared before their mouths met in a hungry kiss. Liv's tongue teased at his lower lip as her arms reached around him, pulling him closer. His hands had just reached the knot holding the silky fabric that covered her when the monitor lit up. Noah's whimpers stopped them abruptly, and they both groaned at the interruption.

Without a word, Tucker moved back to his side of the bed so Olivia could go check on her son. Not even a full minute later she returned with Noah and his blanket, a sheepish smile making its way across her face.

"Somebody was having bad dreams and wants to sleep with us tonight." Ed immediately scooted over a smidge so Noah would fit between them. As soon as the little boy was comfortable in the middle, both adults bent down and kissed him on opposite sides of the forehead.

"Love you, Noah. Good night." Ed's gruff whispers sent chills down Olivia's body.

"Good night. Love you my sweet boy."

"Night night mommy. Night night daddy." After the initial shock of her son's statement wore off, Liv's eyes found Ed's. He was silent, but tears streamed down his face, unwritten joy finding its way to his eyes. She gave him a bright smile and mouthed the words 'talk tomorrow' before kissing him good night.

Ed's mind raced. Noah had called him 'daddy!' It wasn't like he and Olivia hadn't discussed the idea before, because they had, but they'd decided to wait until he was a little older and things were more permanent between them. The couple knew that they wanted to be together long-term, that their relationship was real, but since they hadn't even officially moved in together yet, they didn't want to confuse Noah. Liv had smiled at him though, so she must be okay with it. He certainly was. He loved Noah like he loved Natalie. He'd be more than thrilled to be Noah's dad.

* * *

The squad room was still fairly quieter than Olivia was used to. Since Dodds, things just weren't the same. Her guilty feelings remained, but she tried to remind herself that since there's nothing she can do now, she must live in the present instead of focusing on the past.

'Speaking of the present," she thought to herself as Tucker walked into her office.

"Hey. Care to go for a long lunch with me, Lieutenant?" The glint in his eye told her everything she needed to know and more about his plans for a "long lunch."

"With you? Absolutely. Just give me a second." Grabbing her phone and purse, she made her way out of her office and stopped by Fin's desk.

"I'm headed out for lunch. Call if you need me, but hold down the fort." Watching Ed follow her to the elevator, Fin turned towards Rollins and smirked.

"Sure, they're going to lunch, and I'm the queen of England." Amanda gave him an incredulous look and shook her head.

"Don't be an ass, Fin."

"You saw 'em. Boss lady is going to get some while we're stuck here working." He frowned, and though he was happy that Liv was happy, he wanted that mental image of Liv 'getting some' out of his head.

Amanda couldn't help but chuckle at Fin's reaction to the whole situation. "Come on, let's get back to this paperwork so we can leave and then you can go out and get some. I'm tired of dealing with your cranky ass Fin." He grinned widely at that. Amanda had come a long way since she started at the 1-6. As annoying as she could be, he was proud of the cop she'd turned into.

* * *

"A long lunch? Really? That was your," _oh god right there_ , "plan?" she gasped as Ed trailed kisses down her neck towards her breasts. He pulled back and looked into her eyes that remained clouded over with lust.

"Noah's at daycare. This is the only time we have to ourselves for the week, so I had to make it count. I love the kid, but he has horrible timing. It's like he's taking lessons from Carisi," he deadpanned. Liv laughed at his facial expression and pressed their lips together.

She knew they shouldn't be doing this right now, but it had been fairly quiet at the precinct, and she was entitled to lunches. Especially since she'd barely taken lunches outside of her office since they were down a sergeant. Tamping down the guilt, she moaned into his mouth.

They were still pressed up against the front door; Ed had barely made it into the apartment before pushing his hands were all over her. Now focused on the task at hand, getting Olivia out of her clothes, he grabbed her hand and pulled her towards her bedroom.

"No. Not there," she stopped.

"Uh, wherever you want babe, but hurry because I want you," he growled in her ear before nipping at her earlobe, sending shivers down her spine.

"Couch," she breathed. "If we go to bed, I'll never go back to the precinct."

He let out a laugh and sat down on the couch, pulling her over so she straddled him. Without delay, his mouth pecked her lips and then attached to her neck, sucking and biting as she moaned above him. Liv tilted her head to the side, giving him more access to her body while he moved to her collarbone to continue his ministrations. She reached down, grabbing his hands from her waist and placed them on her breasts, showing him exactly what she wanted him to do.

As he massaged her through her clothes, she tilted her head down and captured his lips with hers. Their tongues colliding in a fiery pace turned him on even more, and as she felt his arousal she slowly shifted her hips over him, in torturous movements that made them both groan.

"Fuck Liv," he murmured against her lips. Deciding he was done with being patient, he nearly ripped her red blouse while pulling it over her head. Ed buried his face against her chest, reaching around behind her to unclasp the piece of material coming between his mouth and her glorious breasts. The moment the material was out of the way he caressed her nipples with rough licks, one at a time, the friction causing her to clench the arm of the couch with one hand while the other held his head close to her chest.

Her skin was on fire with need; she wanted him everywhere, drowning her in his lust and engulfing her with his love. After pulling Ed's light blue polo over his head, she stood, pulling him up with her so she could remove the rest of their clothes. She undid his belt, gripped his zipper, carefully dragging it down over his obvious arousal, and pulled his pants and boxers down in one swift movement. When her hand brushed his erection he stifled a moan and when he opened his eyes, she was standing in front of him completely naked.

Though his intentions were to get inside her as quickly as possible, seeing her standing there, flushed and aroused for him, made him pause. Her lips were red and swollen from his kisses. He watched the rise and fall of her chest and dragged his gaze downward stopping at her hardened nipples and unconsciously licked his lips. When his eyes met hers once again, she saw the darkening haze of desire and she pushed him gently back down to his position on the couch.

Ed's hands reached around the back of her bare thighs and moved her back to his lap. She sat back on his legs, close to his knees, and leaned down sensually dragging her lips and tongue from his collarbone to his hipbones, nipping at different spots along the way. He trembled as she came close to his erection.

Olivia moved backwards slowly off of his lap, leaning forward until she was bending over him. He nearly came when she looked up at him and wetted her lips before swirling her tongue around him. She'd barely managed a few strokes up and down his shaft before Ed grasped her wrists, signaling her to stop and move back to her previous position. When she straddled his legs again, he reached between them and teasingly ran a finger along her center. After he was sure she was ready, he positioned her above his erection and she wasted no time sinking onto him.

The action made both gasp and their foreheads met for a moment before she lifted herself up and sank back down, this time further than before. His fingers dug into her hips as she rolled her lower half over his, arching her back while he pulled her closer. A steady rhythm was set while pants and moans filled the room.

Tucker's hands crept up her back and dug into her shoulder blades as he thrust up into her with powerful strokes. Almost no room was left between their bodies and her nipples scraped against his chest creating an erotic sensation.

Beginning to exhaust herself, Olivia began slowing down and Ed picked her up, laying her down on the couch while he hovered over her sweaty body. He grasped her chin, tilting it upward so his lips could brush across hers while his other hand found her center. With more force this time, he thrust into her again as he was circling her clit with his fingertips.

"Oh Christ," she purred and when he looked down Ed saw her head thrown back in passion as she tweaked her own nipples. Knowing he'd come undone soon, he sped up the pace and rubbed her clit faster. Her thighs were beginning to tremble around his waist as they clenched around him.

"God Liv. Yes baby," he grunted.

Three more thrusts were all it took for Olivia to shatter beneath him, pulling him in as deep as possible and locking him in that position with her legs. As her spasms started calming down, Ed was able to pull out halfway before pushing back into her heat. She was still sensitive from her orgasm and Ed shifted his hips so he hit her clit with every stroke inside her. Moments later, Olivia felt Ed jerking inside her as she pulsed around him.

They were both exhausted and Ed collapsed on her chest while she lovingly ran her fingers through his short hair.

"That was amazing," she rasped breathlessly, chest still heaving.

He lifted his head and kissed her jaw before answering, "Yeah it was. Does that make up for being interrupted last night?"

She chuckled lightly. "Yeah, I suppose it does. You know that'll happen more now since you're daddy," she breathed. His eyes shined at her comment when he remembered Noah calling him "daddy" last night. Very few moments in life topped that one. Reaching for her cell phone on the end table, she checked the time. "Shit. Long lunch was right, Tucker. Come on, I need a two minute shower and then I have to go back to the precinct," she stated, pushing him off her. "Damnit, now I'm hungry and I didn't pick up anything for lunch."

Ed just pointed to the counter where Chinese takeout was waiting for her. 'How did I miss that before?' she wondered, and gave him a chaste kiss.

"Thank you for taking care of me Ed. In more ways than one," she smirked as she sashayed back to the bathroom.

 **Ooh La La, Liv went & got her some. There will only be one or two more chapters for this one. Leave me a review & let me know if you'd like to see something. I'll consider suggestions! **


	8. Author's Note

A/N: Hey there! I just wanted to let you all know a few things. a) You guys are all amazing. You'll never know how thankful I am for everyone who reads, follows, favorites, and/or reviews! Thank you thank you thank you. b) I'm so sorry that I suck at updating/ have no update schedule. My work schedule fluctuates, so my time to write does as well. Thank you for your patience and understanding on that front. anddddd to the main reason I am posting this little note, No, this is not a new chapter, and for that I am sorry. I am going to be taking some time for myself. I have a lot going on right now and my priorities have to lie elsewhere for the time being. I will continue this story! I can't give you a time frame because I have no idea when I'll be back, but I WILL be back. I will continue writing. I'm so sorry that I can't give you all more now. I wish things were different and I wish I was able to finish these first. In any case, I sincerely hope you will stick by me throughout this little hiatus of sorts. Feel free to leave a review/send me a message on any ideas you may have for me to write in the future. Once again, thank you so much for your support and understanding, and I am so sorry. Remember that I'll be back!

Love, B.


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